diff --git a/.github/workflows/smoke/Dockerfile b/.github/workflows/smoke/Dockerfile
index 18460b3..f8a89ef 100644
--- a/.github/workflows/smoke/Dockerfile
+++ b/.github/workflows/smoke/Dockerfile
@@ -1,4 +1,6 @@
-FROM debian:buster
+FROM ubuntu:jammy
+
+RUN apt-get update && apt-get install -y iputils-ping ncat tcpdump
 
 ADD ./build /nebula
 
diff --git a/.github/workflows/smoke/genconfig.sh b/.github/workflows/smoke/genconfig.sh
index 54297a5..26f11de 100755
--- a/.github/workflows/smoke/genconfig.sh
+++ b/.github/workflows/smoke/genconfig.sh
@@ -54,6 +54,8 @@ tun:
     tx_handshake: ${MULTIPORT_HANDSHAKE:-false}
 
 firewall:
+  inbound_action: reject
+  outbound_action: reject
   outbound: ${OUTBOUND:-$FIREWALL_ALL}
   inbound: ${INBOUND:-$FIREWALL_ALL}
 
diff --git a/.github/workflows/smoke/smoke.sh b/.github/workflows/smoke/smoke.sh
index b003f9d..4aa8029 100755
--- a/.github/workflows/smoke/smoke.sh
+++ b/.github/workflows/smoke/smoke.sh
@@ -36,6 +36,21 @@ sleep 1
 sudo docker run --name host4 --device /dev/net/tun:/dev/net/tun --cap-add NET_ADMIN --rm "$CONTAINER" -config host4.yml 2>&1 | tee logs/host4 | sed -u 's/^/  [host4]  /' &
 sleep 1
 
+# grab tcpdump pcaps for debugging
+sudo docker exec lighthouse1 tcpdump -i nebula1 -q -w - -U 2>logs/lighthouse1.inside.log >logs/lighthouse1.inside.pcap &
+sudo docker exec lighthouse1 tcpdump -i eth0 -q -w - -U 2>logs/lighthouse1.outside.log >logs/lighthouse1.outside.pcap &
+sudo docker exec host2 tcpdump -i nebula1 -q -w - -U 2>logs/host2.inside.log >logs/host2.inside.pcap &
+sudo docker exec host2 tcpdump -i eth0 -q -w - -U 2>logs/host2.outside.log >logs/host2.outside.pcap &
+sudo docker exec host3 tcpdump -i nebula1 -q -w - -U 2>logs/host3.inside.log >logs/host3.inside.pcap &
+sudo docker exec host3 tcpdump -i eth0 -q -w - -U 2>logs/host3.outside.log >logs/host3.outside.pcap &
+sudo docker exec host4 tcpdump -i nebula1 -q -w - -U 2>logs/host4.inside.log >logs/host4.inside.pcap &
+sudo docker exec host4 tcpdump -i eth0 -q -w - -U 2>logs/host4.outside.log >logs/host4.outside.pcap &
+
+sudo docker exec host2 ncat -nklv 0.0.0.0 2000 &
+sudo docker exec host3 ncat -nklv 0.0.0.0 2000 &
+sudo docker exec host2 ncat -e '/usr/bin/echo host2' -nkluv 0.0.0.0 3000 &
+sudo docker exec host3 ncat -e '/usr/bin/echo host3' -nkluv 0.0.0.0 3000 &
+
 set +x
 echo
 echo " *** Testing ping from lighthouse1"
@@ -53,6 +68,15 @@ sudo docker exec host2 ping -c1 192.168.100.1
 # Should fail because not allowed by host3 inbound firewall
 ! sudo docker exec host2 ping -c1 192.168.100.3 -w5 || exit 1
 
+set +x
+echo
+echo " *** Testing ncat from host2"
+echo
+set -x
+# Should fail because not allowed by host3 inbound firewall
+! sudo docker exec host2 ncat -nzv -w5 192.168.100.3 2000 || exit 1
+! sudo docker exec host2 ncat -nzuv -w5 192.168.100.3 3000 | grep -q host3 || exit 1
+
 set +x
 echo
 echo " *** Testing ping from host3"
@@ -61,6 +85,14 @@ set -x
 sudo docker exec host3 ping -c1 192.168.100.1
 sudo docker exec host3 ping -c1 192.168.100.2
 
+set +x
+echo
+echo " *** Testing ncat from host3"
+echo
+set -x
+sudo docker exec host3 ncat -nzv -w5 192.168.100.2 2000
+sudo docker exec host3 ncat -nzuv -w5 192.168.100.2 3000 | grep -q host2
+
 set +x
 echo
 echo " *** Testing ping from host4"
@@ -71,6 +103,17 @@ sudo docker exec host4 ping -c1 192.168.100.1
 ! sudo docker exec host4 ping -c1 192.168.100.2 -w5 || exit 1
 ! sudo docker exec host4 ping -c1 192.168.100.3 -w5 || exit 1
 
+set +x
+echo
+echo " *** Testing ncat from host4"
+echo
+set -x
+# Should fail because not allowed by host4 outbound firewall
+! sudo docker exec host4 ncat -nzv -w5 192.168.100.2 2000 || exit 1
+! sudo docker exec host4 ncat -nzv -w5 192.168.100.3 2000 || exit 1
+! sudo docker exec host4 ncat -nzuv -w5 192.168.100.2 3000 | grep -q host2 || exit 1
+! sudo docker exec host4 ncat -nzuv -w5 192.168.100.3 3000 | grep -q host3 || exit 1
+
 set +x
 echo
 echo " *** Testing conntrack"
diff --git a/.github/workflows/test.yml b/.github/workflows/test.yml
index 69ed606..9290aa7 100644
--- a/.github/workflows/test.yml
+++ b/.github/workflows/test.yml
@@ -37,6 +37,9 @@ jobs:
     - name: Build
       run: make all
 
+    - name: Vet
+      run: make vet
+
     - name: Test
       run: make test
 
@@ -79,8 +82,11 @@ jobs:
     - name: Build nebula-cert
       run: go build ./cmd/nebula-cert
 
+    - name: Vet
+      run: make vet
+
     - name: Test
-      run: go test -v ./...
+      run: make test
 
     - name: End 2 end
       run: make e2evv
diff --git a/LOGGING.md b/LOGGING.md
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..bd2fdef
--- /dev/null
+++ b/LOGGING.md
@@ -0,0 +1,38 @@
+### Logging conventions
+
+A log message (the string/format passed to `Info`, `Error`, `Debug` etc, as well as their `Sprintf` counterparts) should
+be a descriptive message about the event and may contain specific identifying characteristics. Regardless of the
+level of detail in the message identifying characteristics should always be included via `WithField`, `WithFields` or
+`WithError`
+
+If an error is being logged use `l.WithError(err)` so that there is better discoverability about the event as well
+as the specific error condition.
+
+#### Common fields
+
+- `cert` - a `cert.NebulaCertificate` object, do not `.String()` this manually, `logrus` will marshal objects properly
+  for the formatter it is using.
+- `fingerprint` - a single `NebeulaCertificate` hex encoded fingerprint
+- `fingerprints` - an array of `NebulaCertificate` hex encoded fingerprints
+- `fwPacket` - a FirewallPacket object
+- `handshake` - an object containing:
+    - `stage` - the current stage counter
+    - `style` - noise handshake style `ix_psk0`, `xx`, etc
+- `header` - a nebula header object
+- `udpAddr` - a `net.UDPAddr` object
+- `udpIp` - a udp ip address
+- `vpnIp` - vpn ip of the host (remote or local)
+- `relay` - the vpnIp of the relay host that is or should be handling the relay packet
+- `relayFrom` - The vpnIp of the initial sender of the relayed packet 
+- `relayTo` - The vpnIp of the final destination of a relayed packet
+
+#### Example:
+
+```
+l.WithError(err).
+    WithField("vpnIp", IntIp(hostinfo.hostId)).
+    WithField("udpAddr", addr).
+    WithField("handshake", m{"stage": 1, "style": "ix"}).
+    WithField("cert", remoteCert).
+    Info("Invalid certificate from host")
+```
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/calculated_remote.go b/calculated_remote.go
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..910f757
--- /dev/null
+++ b/calculated_remote.go
@@ -0,0 +1,143 @@
+package nebula
+
+import (
+	"fmt"
+	"math"
+	"net"
+	"strconv"
+
+	"github.com/slackhq/nebula/cidr"
+	"github.com/slackhq/nebula/config"
+	"github.com/slackhq/nebula/iputil"
+)
+
+// This allows us to "guess" what the remote might be for a host while we wait
+// for the lighthouse response. See "lighthouse.calculated_remotes" in the
+// example config file.
+type calculatedRemote struct {
+	ipNet  net.IPNet
+	maskIP iputil.VpnIp
+	mask   iputil.VpnIp
+	port   uint32
+}
+
+func newCalculatedRemote(ipNet *net.IPNet, port int) (*calculatedRemote, error) {
+	// Ensure this is an IPv4 mask that we expect
+	ones, bits := ipNet.Mask.Size()
+	if ones == 0 || bits != 32 {
+		return nil, fmt.Errorf("invalid mask: %v", ipNet)
+	}
+	if port < 0 || port > math.MaxUint16 {
+		return nil, fmt.Errorf("invalid port: %d", port)
+	}
+
+	return &calculatedRemote{
+		ipNet:  *ipNet,
+		maskIP: iputil.Ip2VpnIp(ipNet.IP),
+		mask:   iputil.Ip2VpnIp(ipNet.Mask),
+		port:   uint32(port),
+	}, nil
+}
+
+func (c *calculatedRemote) String() string {
+	return fmt.Sprintf("CalculatedRemote(mask=%v port=%d)", c.ipNet, c.port)
+}
+
+func (c *calculatedRemote) Apply(ip iputil.VpnIp) *Ip4AndPort {
+	// Combine the masked bytes of the "mask" IP with the unmasked bytes
+	// of the overlay IP
+	masked := (c.maskIP & c.mask) | (ip & ^c.mask)
+
+	return &Ip4AndPort{Ip: uint32(masked), Port: c.port}
+}
+
+func NewCalculatedRemotesFromConfig(c *config.C, k string) (*cidr.Tree4, error) {
+	value := c.Get(k)
+	if value == nil {
+		return nil, nil
+	}
+
+	calculatedRemotes := cidr.NewTree4()
+
+	rawMap, ok := value.(map[any]any)
+	if !ok {
+		return nil, fmt.Errorf("config `%s` has invalid type: %T", k, value)
+	}
+	for rawKey, rawValue := range rawMap {
+		rawCIDR, ok := rawKey.(string)
+		if !ok {
+			return nil, fmt.Errorf("config `%s` has invalid key (type %T): %v", k, rawKey, rawKey)
+		}
+
+		_, ipNet, err := net.ParseCIDR(rawCIDR)
+		if err != nil {
+			return nil, fmt.Errorf("config `%s` has invalid CIDR: %s", k, rawCIDR)
+		}
+
+		entry, err := newCalculatedRemotesListFromConfig(rawValue)
+		if err != nil {
+			return nil, fmt.Errorf("config '%s.%s': %w", k, rawCIDR, err)
+		}
+
+		calculatedRemotes.AddCIDR(ipNet, entry)
+	}
+
+	return calculatedRemotes, nil
+}
+
+func newCalculatedRemotesListFromConfig(raw any) ([]*calculatedRemote, error) {
+	rawList, ok := raw.([]any)
+	if !ok {
+		return nil, fmt.Errorf("calculated_remotes entry has invalid type: %T", raw)
+	}
+
+	var l []*calculatedRemote
+	for _, e := range rawList {
+		c, err := newCalculatedRemotesEntryFromConfig(e)
+		if err != nil {
+			return nil, fmt.Errorf("calculated_remotes entry: %w", err)
+		}
+		l = append(l, c)
+	}
+
+	return l, nil
+}
+
+func newCalculatedRemotesEntryFromConfig(raw any) (*calculatedRemote, error) {
+	rawMap, ok := raw.(map[any]any)
+	if !ok {
+		return nil, fmt.Errorf("invalid type: %T", raw)
+	}
+
+	rawValue := rawMap["mask"]
+	if rawValue == nil {
+		return nil, fmt.Errorf("missing mask: %v", rawMap)
+	}
+	rawMask, ok := rawValue.(string)
+	if !ok {
+		return nil, fmt.Errorf("invalid mask (type %T): %v", rawValue, rawValue)
+	}
+	_, ipNet, err := net.ParseCIDR(rawMask)
+	if err != nil {
+		return nil, fmt.Errorf("invalid mask: %s", rawMask)
+	}
+
+	var port int
+	rawValue = rawMap["port"]
+	if rawValue == nil {
+		return nil, fmt.Errorf("missing port: %v", rawMap)
+	}
+	switch v := rawValue.(type) {
+	case int:
+		port = v
+	case string:
+		port, err = strconv.Atoi(v)
+		if err != nil {
+			return nil, fmt.Errorf("invalid port: %s: %w", v, err)
+		}
+	default:
+		return nil, fmt.Errorf("invalid port (type %T): %v", rawValue, rawValue)
+	}
+
+	return newCalculatedRemote(ipNet, port)
+}
diff --git a/calculated_remote_test.go b/calculated_remote_test.go
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2ddebca
--- /dev/null
+++ b/calculated_remote_test.go
@@ -0,0 +1,27 @@
+package nebula
+
+import (
+	"net"
+	"testing"
+
+	"github.com/slackhq/nebula/iputil"
+	"github.com/stretchr/testify/assert"
+	"github.com/stretchr/testify/require"
+)
+
+func TestCalculatedRemoteApply(t *testing.T) {
+	_, ipNet, err := net.ParseCIDR("192.168.1.0/24")
+	require.NoError(t, err)
+
+	c, err := newCalculatedRemote(ipNet, 4242)
+	require.NoError(t, err)
+
+	input := iputil.Ip2VpnIp([]byte{10, 0, 10, 182})
+
+	expected := &Ip4AndPort{
+		Ip:   uint32(iputil.Ip2VpnIp([]byte{192, 168, 1, 182})),
+		Port: 4242,
+	}
+
+	assert.Equal(t, expected, c.Apply(input))
+}
diff --git a/connection_manager.go b/connection_manager.go
index d1e78ca..0ea1f75 100644
--- a/connection_manager.go
+++ b/connection_manager.go
@@ -5,49 +5,55 @@ import (
 	"sync"
 	"time"
 
+	"github.com/rcrowley/go-metrics"
 	"github.com/sirupsen/logrus"
 	"github.com/slackhq/nebula/header"
+	"github.com/slackhq/nebula/udp"
 )
 
-// TODO: incount and outcount are intended as a shortcut to locking the mutexes for every single packet
-// and something like every 10 packets we could lock, send 10, then unlock for a moment
-
 type connectionManager struct {
-	hostMap      *HostMap
-	in           map[uint32]struct{}
-	inLock       *sync.RWMutex
-	out          map[uint32]struct{}
-	outLock      *sync.RWMutex
-	TrafficTimer *LockingTimerWheel[uint32]
-	intf         *Interface
+	in     map[uint32]struct{}
+	inLock *sync.RWMutex
 
-	pendingDeletion      map[uint32]int
-	pendingDeletionLock  *sync.RWMutex
-	pendingDeletionTimer *LockingTimerWheel[uint32]
+	out     map[uint32]struct{}
+	outLock *sync.RWMutex
 
-	checkInterval           int
-	pendingDeletionInterval int
+	hostMap                 *HostMap
+	trafficTimer            *LockingTimerWheel[uint32]
+	intf                    *Interface
+	pendingDeletion         map[uint32]struct{}
+	punchy                  *Punchy
+	checkInterval           time.Duration
+	pendingDeletionInterval time.Duration
+	metricsTxPunchy         metrics.Counter
 
 	l *logrus.Logger
-	// I wanted to call one matLock
 }
 
-func newConnectionManager(ctx context.Context, l *logrus.Logger, intf *Interface, checkInterval, pendingDeletionInterval int) *connectionManager {
+func newConnectionManager(ctx context.Context, l *logrus.Logger, intf *Interface, checkInterval, pendingDeletionInterval time.Duration, punchy *Punchy) *connectionManager {
+	var max time.Duration
+	if checkInterval < pendingDeletionInterval {
+		max = pendingDeletionInterval
+	} else {
+		max = checkInterval
+	}
+
 	nc := &connectionManager{
 		hostMap:                 intf.hostMap,
 		in:                      make(map[uint32]struct{}),
 		inLock:                  &sync.RWMutex{},
 		out:                     make(map[uint32]struct{}),
 		outLock:                 &sync.RWMutex{},
-		TrafficTimer:            NewLockingTimerWheel[uint32](time.Millisecond*500, time.Second*60),
+		trafficTimer:            NewLockingTimerWheel[uint32](time.Millisecond*500, max),
 		intf:                    intf,
-		pendingDeletion:         make(map[uint32]int),
-		pendingDeletionLock:     &sync.RWMutex{},
-		pendingDeletionTimer:    NewLockingTimerWheel[uint32](time.Millisecond*500, time.Second*60),
+		pendingDeletion:         make(map[uint32]struct{}),
 		checkInterval:           checkInterval,
 		pendingDeletionInterval: pendingDeletionInterval,
+		punchy:                  punchy,
+		metricsTxPunchy:         metrics.GetOrRegisterCounter("messages.tx.punchy", nil),
 		l:                       l,
 	}
+
 	nc.Start(ctx)
 	return nc
 }
@@ -74,65 +80,27 @@ func (n *connectionManager) Out(localIndex uint32) {
 	}
 	n.outLock.RUnlock()
 	n.outLock.Lock()
-	// double check since we dropped the lock temporarily
-	if _, ok := n.out[localIndex]; ok {
-		n.outLock.Unlock()
-		return
-	}
 	n.out[localIndex] = struct{}{}
-	n.AddTrafficWatch(localIndex, n.checkInterval)
 	n.outLock.Unlock()
 }
 
-func (n *connectionManager) CheckIn(localIndex uint32) bool {
-	n.inLock.RLock()
-	if _, ok := n.in[localIndex]; ok {
-		n.inLock.RUnlock()
-		return true
-	}
-	n.inLock.RUnlock()
-	return false
-}
-
-func (n *connectionManager) ClearLocalIndex(localIndex uint32) {
+// getAndResetTrafficCheck returns if there was any inbound or outbound traffic within the last tick and
+// resets the state for this local index
+func (n *connectionManager) getAndResetTrafficCheck(localIndex uint32) (bool, bool) {
 	n.inLock.Lock()
 	n.outLock.Lock()
+	_, in := n.in[localIndex]
+	_, out := n.out[localIndex]
 	delete(n.in, localIndex)
 	delete(n.out, localIndex)
 	n.inLock.Unlock()
 	n.outLock.Unlock()
+	return in, out
 }
 
-func (n *connectionManager) ClearPendingDeletion(localIndex uint32) {
-	n.pendingDeletionLock.Lock()
-	delete(n.pendingDeletion, localIndex)
-	n.pendingDeletionLock.Unlock()
-}
-
-func (n *connectionManager) AddPendingDeletion(localIndex uint32) {
-	n.pendingDeletionLock.Lock()
-	if _, ok := n.pendingDeletion[localIndex]; ok {
-		n.pendingDeletion[localIndex] += 1
-	} else {
-		n.pendingDeletion[localIndex] = 0
-	}
-	n.pendingDeletionTimer.Add(localIndex, time.Second*time.Duration(n.pendingDeletionInterval))
-	n.pendingDeletionLock.Unlock()
-}
-
-func (n *connectionManager) checkPendingDeletion(localIndex uint32) bool {
-	n.pendingDeletionLock.RLock()
-	if _, ok := n.pendingDeletion[localIndex]; ok {
-
-		n.pendingDeletionLock.RUnlock()
-		return true
-	}
-	n.pendingDeletionLock.RUnlock()
-	return false
-}
-
-func (n *connectionManager) AddTrafficWatch(localIndex uint32, seconds int) {
-	n.TrafficTimer.Add(localIndex, time.Second*time.Duration(seconds))
+func (n *connectionManager) AddTrafficWatch(localIndex uint32) {
+	n.Out(localIndex)
+	n.trafficTimer.Add(localIndex, n.checkInterval)
 }
 
 func (n *connectionManager) Start(ctx context.Context) {
@@ -140,6 +108,7 @@ func (n *connectionManager) Start(ctx context.Context) {
 }
 
 func (n *connectionManager) Run(ctx context.Context) {
+	//TODO: this tick should be based on the min wheel tick? Check firewall
 	clockSource := time.NewTicker(500 * time.Millisecond)
 	defer clockSource.Stop()
 
@@ -151,138 +120,106 @@ func (n *connectionManager) Run(ctx context.Context) {
 		select {
 		case <-ctx.Done():
 			return
+
 		case now := <-clockSource.C:
-			n.HandleMonitorTick(now, p, nb, out)
-			n.HandleDeletionTick(now)
-		}
-	}
-}
-
-func (n *connectionManager) HandleMonitorTick(now time.Time, p, nb, out []byte) {
-	n.TrafficTimer.Advance(now)
-	for {
-		localIndex, has := n.TrafficTimer.Purge()
-		if !has {
-			break
-		}
-
-		// Check for traffic coming back in from this host.
-		traf := n.CheckIn(localIndex)
-
-		hostinfo, err := n.hostMap.QueryIndex(localIndex)
-		if err != nil {
-			n.l.WithField("localIndex", localIndex).Debugf("Not found in hostmap")
-			n.ClearLocalIndex(localIndex)
-			n.ClearPendingDeletion(localIndex)
-			continue
-		}
-
-		if n.handleInvalidCertificate(now, hostinfo) {
-			continue
-		}
-
-		// Does the vpnIp point to this hostinfo or is it ancillary? If we have ancillary hostinfos then we need to
-		// decide if this should be the main hostinfo if we are seeing traffic on it
-		primary, _ := n.hostMap.QueryVpnIp(hostinfo.vpnIp)
-		mainHostInfo := true
-		if primary != nil && primary != hostinfo {
-			mainHostInfo = false
-		}
-
-		// If we saw an incoming packets from this ip and peer's certificate is not
-		// expired, just ignore.
-		if traf {
-			if n.l.Level >= logrus.DebugLevel {
-				hostinfo.logger(n.l).
-					WithField("tunnelCheck", m{"state": "alive", "method": "passive"}).
-					Debug("Tunnel status")
-			}
-			n.ClearLocalIndex(localIndex)
-			n.ClearPendingDeletion(localIndex)
-
-			if !mainHostInfo {
-				if hostinfo.vpnIp > n.intf.myVpnIp {
-					// We are receiving traffic on the non primary hostinfo and we really just want 1 tunnel. Make
-					// This the primary and prime the old primary hostinfo for testing
-					n.hostMap.MakePrimary(hostinfo)
-					n.Out(primary.localIndexId)
-				} else {
-					// This hostinfo is still being used despite not being the primary hostinfo for this vpn ip
-					// Keep tracking so that we can tear it down when it goes away
-					n.Out(hostinfo.localIndexId)
+			n.trafficTimer.Advance(now)
+			for {
+				localIndex, has := n.trafficTimer.Purge()
+				if !has {
+					break
 				}
+
+				n.doTrafficCheck(localIndex, p, nb, out, now)
 			}
-
-			continue
 		}
-
-		hostinfo.logger(n.l).
-			WithField("tunnelCheck", m{"state": "testing", "method": "active"}).
-			Debug("Tunnel status")
-
-		if hostinfo != nil && hostinfo.ConnectionState != nil && mainHostInfo {
-			// Send a test packet to trigger an authenticated tunnel test, this should suss out any lingering tunnel issues
-			n.intf.sendMessageToVpnIp(header.Test, header.TestRequest, hostinfo, p, nb, out)
-
-		} else {
-			hostinfo.logger(n.l).Debugf("Hostinfo sadness")
-		}
-		n.AddPendingDeletion(localIndex)
 	}
-
 }
 
-func (n *connectionManager) HandleDeletionTick(now time.Time) {
-	n.pendingDeletionTimer.Advance(now)
-	for {
-		localIndex, has := n.pendingDeletionTimer.Purge()
-		if !has {
-			break
-		}
-
-		hostinfo, err := n.hostMap.QueryIndex(localIndex)
-		if err != nil {
-			n.l.WithField("localIndex", localIndex).Debugf("Not found in hostmap")
-			n.ClearLocalIndex(localIndex)
-			n.ClearPendingDeletion(localIndex)
-			continue
-		}
-
-		if n.handleInvalidCertificate(now, hostinfo) {
-			continue
-		}
-
-		// If we saw an incoming packets from this ip and peer's certificate is not
-		// expired, just ignore.
-		traf := n.CheckIn(localIndex)
-		if traf {
-			hostinfo.logger(n.l).
-				WithField("tunnelCheck", m{"state": "alive", "method": "active"}).
-				Debug("Tunnel status")
-
-			n.ClearLocalIndex(localIndex)
-			n.ClearPendingDeletion(localIndex)
-			continue
-		}
-
-		// If it comes around on deletion wheel and hasn't resolved itself, delete
-		if n.checkPendingDeletion(localIndex) {
-			cn := ""
-			if hostinfo.ConnectionState != nil && hostinfo.ConnectionState.peerCert != nil {
-				cn = hostinfo.ConnectionState.peerCert.Details.Name
-			}
-
-			hostinfo.logger(n.l).
-				WithField("tunnelCheck", m{"state": "dead", "method": "active"}).
-				WithField("certName", cn).
-				Info("Tunnel status")
-
-			n.hostMap.DeleteHostInfo(hostinfo)
-		}
-
-		n.ClearLocalIndex(localIndex)
-		n.ClearPendingDeletion(localIndex)
+func (n *connectionManager) doTrafficCheck(localIndex uint32, p, nb, out []byte, now time.Time) {
+	hostinfo, err := n.hostMap.QueryIndex(localIndex)
+	if err != nil {
+		n.l.WithField("localIndex", localIndex).Debugf("Not found in hostmap")
+		delete(n.pendingDeletion, localIndex)
+		return
 	}
+
+	if n.handleInvalidCertificate(now, hostinfo) {
+		return
+	}
+
+	primary, _ := n.hostMap.QueryVpnIp(hostinfo.vpnIp)
+	mainHostInfo := true
+	if primary != nil && primary != hostinfo {
+		mainHostInfo = false
+	}
+
+	// Check for traffic on this hostinfo
+	inTraffic, outTraffic := n.getAndResetTrafficCheck(localIndex)
+
+	// A hostinfo is determined alive if there is incoming traffic
+	if inTraffic {
+		if n.l.Level >= logrus.DebugLevel {
+			hostinfo.logger(n.l).
+				WithField("tunnelCheck", m{"state": "alive", "method": "passive"}).
+				Debug("Tunnel status")
+		}
+		delete(n.pendingDeletion, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+
+		if !mainHostInfo {
+			if hostinfo.vpnIp > n.intf.myVpnIp {
+				// We are receiving traffic on the non primary hostinfo and we really just want 1 tunnel. Make
+				// This the primary and prime the old primary hostinfo for testing
+				n.hostMap.MakePrimary(hostinfo)
+			}
+		}
+
+		n.trafficTimer.Add(hostinfo.localIndexId, n.checkInterval)
+
+		if !outTraffic {
+			// Send a punch packet to keep the NAT state alive
+			n.sendPunch(hostinfo)
+		}
+
+		return
+	}
+
+	if n.intf.lightHouse.IsLighthouseIP(hostinfo.vpnIp) {
+		// We are sending traffic to the lighthouse, let recv_error sort out any issues instead of testing the tunnel
+		n.trafficTimer.Add(hostinfo.localIndexId, n.checkInterval)
+		return
+	}
+
+	if _, ok := n.pendingDeletion[hostinfo.localIndexId]; ok {
+		// We have already sent a test packet and nothing was returned, this hostinfo is dead
+		hostinfo.logger(n.l).
+			WithField("tunnelCheck", m{"state": "dead", "method": "active"}).
+			Info("Tunnel status")
+
+		n.hostMap.DeleteHostInfo(hostinfo)
+		delete(n.pendingDeletion, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+		return
+	}
+
+	hostinfo.logger(n.l).
+		WithField("tunnelCheck", m{"state": "testing", "method": "active"}).
+		Debug("Tunnel status")
+
+	if hostinfo != nil && hostinfo.ConnectionState != nil && mainHostInfo {
+		if n.punchy.GetTargetEverything() {
+			// Maybe the remote is sending us packets but our NAT is blocking it and since we are configured to punch to all
+			// known remotes, go ahead and do that AND send a test packet
+			n.sendPunch(hostinfo)
+		}
+
+		// Send a test packet to trigger an authenticated tunnel test, this should suss out any lingering tunnel issues
+		n.intf.sendMessageToVpnIp(header.Test, header.TestRequest, hostinfo, p, nb, out)
+
+	} else {
+		hostinfo.logger(n.l).Debugf("Hostinfo sadness")
+	}
+
+	n.pendingDeletion[hostinfo.localIndexId] = struct{}{}
+	n.trafficTimer.Add(hostinfo.localIndexId, n.pendingDeletionInterval)
 }
 
 // handleInvalidCertificates will destroy a tunnel if pki.disconnect_invalid is true and the certificate is no longer valid
@@ -309,8 +246,24 @@ func (n *connectionManager) handleInvalidCertificate(now time.Time, hostinfo *Ho
 	// Inform the remote and close the tunnel locally
 	n.intf.sendCloseTunnel(hostinfo)
 	n.intf.closeTunnel(hostinfo)
-
-	n.ClearLocalIndex(hostinfo.localIndexId)
-	n.ClearPendingDeletion(hostinfo.localIndexId)
+	delete(n.pendingDeletion, hostinfo.localIndexId)
 	return true
 }
+
+func (n *connectionManager) sendPunch(hostinfo *HostInfo) {
+	if !n.punchy.GetPunch() {
+		// Punching is disabled
+		return
+	}
+
+	if n.punchy.GetTargetEverything() {
+		hostinfo.remotes.ForEach(n.hostMap.preferredRanges, func(addr *udp.Addr, preferred bool) {
+			n.metricsTxPunchy.Inc(1)
+			n.intf.outside.WriteTo([]byte{1}, addr)
+		})
+
+	} else if hostinfo.remote != nil {
+		n.metricsTxPunchy.Inc(1)
+		n.intf.outside.WriteTo([]byte{1}, hostinfo.remote)
+	}
+}
diff --git a/connection_manager_test.go b/connection_manager_test.go
index 51e331b..e05376d 100644
--- a/connection_manager_test.go
+++ b/connection_manager_test.go
@@ -10,6 +10,7 @@ import (
 
 	"github.com/flynn/noise"
 	"github.com/slackhq/nebula/cert"
+	"github.com/slackhq/nebula/config"
 	"github.com/slackhq/nebula/iputil"
 	"github.com/slackhq/nebula/test"
 	"github.com/slackhq/nebula/udp"
@@ -54,22 +55,22 @@ func Test_NewConnectionManagerTest(t *testing.T) {
 		hostMap:          hostMap,
 		inside:           &test.NoopTun{},
 		outside:          &udp.Conn{},
-		certState:        cs,
 		firewall:         &Firewall{},
 		lightHouse:       lh,
 		handshakeManager: NewHandshakeManager(l, vpncidr, preferredRanges, hostMap, lh, &udp.Conn{}, defaultHandshakeConfig),
 		l:                l,
 	}
-	now := time.Now()
+	ifce.certState.Store(cs)
 
 	// Create manager
 	ctx, cancel := context.WithCancel(context.Background())
 	defer cancel()
-	nc := newConnectionManager(ctx, l, ifce, 5, 10)
+	punchy := NewPunchyFromConfig(l, config.NewC(l))
+	nc := newConnectionManager(ctx, l, ifce, 5, 10, punchy)
 	p := []byte("")
 	nb := make([]byte, 12, 12)
 	out := make([]byte, mtu)
-	nc.HandleMonitorTick(now, p, nb, out)
+
 	// Add an ip we have established a connection w/ to hostmap
 	hostinfo := &HostInfo{
 		vpnIp:         vpnIp,
@@ -84,26 +85,28 @@ func Test_NewConnectionManagerTest(t *testing.T) {
 
 	// We saw traffic out to vpnIp
 	nc.Out(hostinfo.localIndexId)
+	nc.In(hostinfo.localIndexId)
 	assert.NotContains(t, nc.pendingDeletion, hostinfo.localIndexId)
 	assert.Contains(t, nc.hostMap.Hosts, hostinfo.vpnIp)
 	assert.Contains(t, nc.hostMap.Indexes, hostinfo.localIndexId)
-	// Move ahead 5s. Nothing should happen
-	next_tick := now.Add(5 * time.Second)
-	nc.HandleMonitorTick(next_tick, p, nb, out)
-	nc.HandleDeletionTick(next_tick)
-	// Move ahead 6s. We haven't heard back
-	next_tick = now.Add(6 * time.Second)
-	nc.HandleMonitorTick(next_tick, p, nb, out)
-	nc.HandleDeletionTick(next_tick)
-	// This host should now be up for deletion
+	assert.Contains(t, nc.out, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+
+	// Do a traffic check tick, should not be pending deletion but should not have any in/out packets recorded
+	nc.doTrafficCheck(hostinfo.localIndexId, p, nb, out, time.Now())
+	assert.NotContains(t, nc.pendingDeletion, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+	assert.NotContains(t, nc.out, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+	assert.NotContains(t, nc.in, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+
+	// Do another traffic check tick, this host should be pending deletion now
+	nc.doTrafficCheck(hostinfo.localIndexId, p, nb, out, time.Now())
 	assert.Contains(t, nc.pendingDeletion, hostinfo.localIndexId)
-	assert.Contains(t, nc.hostMap.Hosts, hostinfo.vpnIp)
+	assert.NotContains(t, nc.out, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+	assert.NotContains(t, nc.in, hostinfo.localIndexId)
 	assert.Contains(t, nc.hostMap.Indexes, hostinfo.localIndexId)
-	// Move ahead some more
-	next_tick = now.Add(45 * time.Second)
-	nc.HandleMonitorTick(next_tick, p, nb, out)
-	nc.HandleDeletionTick(next_tick)
-	// The host should be evicted
+	assert.Contains(t, nc.hostMap.Hosts, hostinfo.vpnIp)
+
+	// Do a final traffic check tick, the host should now be removed
+	nc.doTrafficCheck(hostinfo.localIndexId, p, nb, out, time.Now())
 	assert.NotContains(t, nc.pendingDeletion, hostinfo.localIndexId)
 	assert.NotContains(t, nc.hostMap.Hosts, hostinfo.vpnIp)
 	assert.NotContains(t, nc.hostMap.Indexes, hostinfo.localIndexId)
@@ -130,22 +133,22 @@ func Test_NewConnectionManagerTest2(t *testing.T) {
 		hostMap:          hostMap,
 		inside:           &test.NoopTun{},
 		outside:          &udp.Conn{},
-		certState:        cs,
 		firewall:         &Firewall{},
 		lightHouse:       lh,
 		handshakeManager: NewHandshakeManager(l, vpncidr, preferredRanges, hostMap, lh, &udp.Conn{}, defaultHandshakeConfig),
 		l:                l,
 	}
-	now := time.Now()
+	ifce.certState.Store(cs)
 
 	// Create manager
 	ctx, cancel := context.WithCancel(context.Background())
 	defer cancel()
-	nc := newConnectionManager(ctx, l, ifce, 5, 10)
+	punchy := NewPunchyFromConfig(l, config.NewC(l))
+	nc := newConnectionManager(ctx, l, ifce, 5, 10, punchy)
 	p := []byte("")
 	nb := make([]byte, 12, 12)
 	out := make([]byte, mtu)
-	nc.HandleMonitorTick(now, p, nb, out)
+
 	// Add an ip we have established a connection w/ to hostmap
 	hostinfo := &HostInfo{
 		vpnIp:         vpnIp,
@@ -160,30 +163,33 @@ func Test_NewConnectionManagerTest2(t *testing.T) {
 
 	// We saw traffic out to vpnIp
 	nc.Out(hostinfo.localIndexId)
-	assert.NotContains(t, nc.pendingDeletion, vpnIp)
-	assert.Contains(t, nc.hostMap.Hosts, vpnIp)
-	// Move ahead 5s. Nothing should happen
-	next_tick := now.Add(5 * time.Second)
-	nc.HandleMonitorTick(next_tick, p, nb, out)
-	nc.HandleDeletionTick(next_tick)
-	// Move ahead 6s. We haven't heard back
-	next_tick = now.Add(6 * time.Second)
-	nc.HandleMonitorTick(next_tick, p, nb, out)
-	nc.HandleDeletionTick(next_tick)
-	// This host should now be up for deletion
-	assert.Contains(t, nc.pendingDeletion, hostinfo.localIndexId)
-	assert.Contains(t, nc.hostMap.Hosts, vpnIp)
-	assert.Contains(t, nc.hostMap.Indexes, hostinfo.localIndexId)
-	// We heard back this time
 	nc.In(hostinfo.localIndexId)
-	// Move ahead some more
-	next_tick = now.Add(45 * time.Second)
-	nc.HandleMonitorTick(next_tick, p, nb, out)
-	nc.HandleDeletionTick(next_tick)
-	// The host should not be evicted
-	assert.NotContains(t, nc.pendingDeletion, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+	assert.NotContains(t, nc.pendingDeletion, hostinfo.vpnIp)
 	assert.Contains(t, nc.hostMap.Hosts, hostinfo.vpnIp)
 	assert.Contains(t, nc.hostMap.Indexes, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+
+	// Do a traffic check tick, should not be pending deletion but should not have any in/out packets recorded
+	nc.doTrafficCheck(hostinfo.localIndexId, p, nb, out, time.Now())
+	assert.NotContains(t, nc.pendingDeletion, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+	assert.NotContains(t, nc.out, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+	assert.NotContains(t, nc.in, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+
+	// Do another traffic check tick, this host should be pending deletion now
+	nc.doTrafficCheck(hostinfo.localIndexId, p, nb, out, time.Now())
+	assert.Contains(t, nc.pendingDeletion, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+	assert.NotContains(t, nc.out, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+	assert.NotContains(t, nc.in, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+	assert.Contains(t, nc.hostMap.Indexes, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+	assert.Contains(t, nc.hostMap.Hosts, hostinfo.vpnIp)
+
+	// We saw traffic, should no longer be pending deletion
+	nc.In(hostinfo.localIndexId)
+	nc.doTrafficCheck(hostinfo.localIndexId, p, nb, out, time.Now())
+	assert.NotContains(t, nc.pendingDeletion, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+	assert.NotContains(t, nc.out, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+	assert.NotContains(t, nc.in, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+	assert.Contains(t, nc.hostMap.Indexes, hostinfo.localIndexId)
+	assert.Contains(t, nc.hostMap.Hosts, hostinfo.vpnIp)
 }
 
 // Check if we can disconnect the peer.
@@ -245,7 +251,6 @@ func Test_NewConnectionManagerTest_DisconnectInvalid(t *testing.T) {
 		hostMap:           hostMap,
 		inside:            &test.NoopTun{},
 		outside:           &udp.Conn{},
-		certState:         cs,
 		firewall:          &Firewall{},
 		lightHouse:        lh,
 		handshakeManager:  NewHandshakeManager(l, vpncidr, preferredRanges, hostMap, lh, &udp.Conn{}, defaultHandshakeConfig),
@@ -253,11 +258,13 @@ func Test_NewConnectionManagerTest_DisconnectInvalid(t *testing.T) {
 		disconnectInvalid: true,
 		caPool:            ncp,
 	}
+	ifce.certState.Store(cs)
 
 	// Create manager
 	ctx, cancel := context.WithCancel(context.Background())
 	defer cancel()
-	nc := newConnectionManager(ctx, l, ifce, 5, 10)
+	punchy := NewPunchyFromConfig(l, config.NewC(l))
+	nc := newConnectionManager(ctx, l, ifce, 5, 10, punchy)
 	ifce.connectionManager = nc
 	hostinfo, _ := nc.hostMap.AddVpnIp(vpnIp, nil)
 	hostinfo.ConnectionState = &ConnectionState{
diff --git a/connection_state.go b/connection_state.go
index 6bbb02f..2a7be15 100644
--- a/connection_state.go
+++ b/connection_state.go
@@ -33,7 +33,7 @@ func (f *Interface) newConnectionState(l *logrus.Logger, initiator bool, pattern
 		cs = noise.NewCipherSuite(noise.DH25519, noise.CipherChaChaPoly, noise.HashSHA256)
 	}
 
-	curCertState := f.certState
+	curCertState := f.certState.Load()
 	static := noise.DHKey{Private: curCertState.privateKey, Public: curCertState.publicKey}
 
 	b := NewBits(ReplayWindow)
diff --git a/control.go b/control.go
index ab3a5cb..203278d 100644
--- a/control.go
+++ b/control.go
@@ -74,7 +74,7 @@ func (c *Control) Stop() {
 
 // ShutdownBlock will listen for and block on term and interrupt signals, calling Control.Stop() once signalled
 func (c *Control) ShutdownBlock() {
-	sigChan := make(chan os.Signal)
+	sigChan := make(chan os.Signal, 1)
 	signal.Notify(sigChan, syscall.SIGTERM)
 	signal.Notify(sigChan, syscall.SIGINT)
 
@@ -198,7 +198,7 @@ func (c *Control) CloseAllTunnels(excludeLighthouses bool) (closed int) {
 	hostInfos := []*HostInfo{}
 	// Grab the hostMap lock to access the Hosts map
 	c.f.hostMap.Lock()
-	for _, relayHost := range c.f.hostMap.Hosts {
+	for _, relayHost := range c.f.hostMap.Indexes {
 		if _, ok := relayingHosts[relayHost.vpnIp]; !ok {
 			hostInfos = append(hostInfos, relayHost)
 		}
diff --git a/control_tester.go b/control_tester.go
index 4fa0763..550c986 100644
--- a/control_tester.go
+++ b/control_tester.go
@@ -161,5 +161,5 @@ func (c *Control) GetHostmap() *HostMap {
 }
 
 func (c *Control) GetCert() *cert.NebulaCertificate {
-	return c.f.certState.certificate
+	return c.f.certState.Load().certificate
 }
diff --git a/e2e/handshakes_test.go b/e2e/handshakes_test.go
index d12412e..8e33deb 100644
--- a/e2e/handshakes_test.go
+++ b/e2e/handshakes_test.go
@@ -8,6 +8,7 @@ import (
 	"testing"
 	"time"
 
+	"github.com/sirupsen/logrus"
 	"github.com/slackhq/nebula"
 	"github.com/slackhq/nebula/e2e/router"
 	"github.com/slackhq/nebula/header"
@@ -393,43 +394,19 @@ func TestStage1RaceRelays(t *testing.T) {
 	relayControl.Start()
 	theirControl.Start()
 
-	r.Log("Trigger a handshake to start on both me and relay")
-	myControl.InjectTunUDPPacket(relayVpnIpNet.IP, 80, 80, []byte("Hi from me"))
-	relayControl.InjectTunUDPPacket(myVpnIpNet.IP, 80, 80, []byte("Hi from relay"))
-
-	r.Log("Get both stage 1 handshake packets")
-	//TODO: this is where it breaks, we need to get the hs packets for the relay not for the destination
-	myHsForThem := myControl.GetFromUDP(true)
-	relayHsForMe := relayControl.GetFromUDP(true)
-
-	r.Log("Now inject both stage 1 handshake packets")
-	r.InjectUDPPacket(relayControl, myControl, relayHsForMe)
-	r.InjectUDPPacket(myControl, relayControl, myHsForThem)
-
-	r.Log("Route for me until I send a message packet to relay")
-	r.RouteForAllUntilAfterMsgTypeTo(relayControl, header.Message, header.MessageNone)
-
-	r.Log("My cached packet should be received by relay")
-	myCachedPacket := relayControl.GetFromTun(true)
-	assertUdpPacket(t, []byte("Hi from me"), myCachedPacket, myVpnIpNet.IP, relayVpnIpNet.IP, 80, 80)
-
-	r.Log("Relays cached packet should be received by me")
-	relayCachedPacket := r.RouteForAllUntilTxTun(myControl)
-	assertUdpPacket(t, []byte("Hi from relay"), relayCachedPacket, relayVpnIpNet.IP, myVpnIpNet.IP, 80, 80)
-
-	r.Log("Do a bidirectional tunnel test; me and relay")
+	r.Log("Get a tunnel between me and relay")
 	assertTunnel(t, myVpnIpNet.IP, relayVpnIpNet.IP, myControl, relayControl, r)
 
-	r.Log("Create a tunnel between relay and them")
+	r.Log("Get a tunnel between them and relay")
 	assertTunnel(t, theirVpnIpNet.IP, relayVpnIpNet.IP, theirControl, relayControl, r)
 
-	r.RenderHostmaps("Starting hostmaps", myControl, relayControl, theirControl)
+	r.Log("Trigger a handshake from both them and me via relay to them and me")
+	myControl.InjectTunUDPPacket(theirVpnIpNet.IP, 80, 80, []byte("Hi from me"))
+	theirControl.InjectTunUDPPacket(myVpnIpNet.IP, 80, 80, []byte("Hi from them"))
 
-	r.Log("Trigger a handshake to start from me to them via the relay")
-	//TODO: if we initiate a handshake from me and then assert the tunnel it will cause a relay control race that can blow up
-	//	this is a problem that exists on master today
-	//myControl.InjectTunUDPPacket(theirVpnIpNet.IP, 80, 80, []byte("Hi from me"))
-	assertTunnel(t, myVpnIpNet.IP, theirVpnIpNet.IP, myControl, theirControl, r)
+	r.Log("Wait for a packet from them to me")
+	p := r.RouteForAllUntilTxTun(myControl)
+	_ = p
 
 	myControl.Stop()
 	theirControl.Stop()
@@ -438,4 +415,93 @@ func TestStage1RaceRelays(t *testing.T) {
 	////TODO: assert hostmaps
 }
 
+func TestStage1RaceRelays2(t *testing.T) {
+	//NOTE: this is a race between me and relay resulting in a full tunnel from me to them via relay
+	ca, _, caKey, _ := newTestCaCert(time.Now(), time.Now().Add(10*time.Minute), []*net.IPNet{}, []*net.IPNet{}, []string{})
+	myControl, myVpnIpNet, myUdpAddr := newSimpleServer(ca, caKey, "me     ", net.IP{10, 0, 0, 1}, m{"relay": m{"use_relays": true}})
+	relayControl, relayVpnIpNet, relayUdpAddr := newSimpleServer(ca, caKey, "relay  ", net.IP{10, 0, 0, 128}, m{"relay": m{"am_relay": true}})
+	theirControl, theirVpnIpNet, theirUdpAddr := newSimpleServer(ca, caKey, "them   ", net.IP{10, 0, 0, 2}, m{"relay": m{"use_relays": true}})
+	l := NewTestLogger()
+
+	// Teach my how to get to the relay and that their can be reached via the relay
+	myControl.InjectLightHouseAddr(relayVpnIpNet.IP, relayUdpAddr)
+	theirControl.InjectLightHouseAddr(relayVpnIpNet.IP, relayUdpAddr)
+
+	myControl.InjectRelays(theirVpnIpNet.IP, []net.IP{relayVpnIpNet.IP})
+	theirControl.InjectRelays(myVpnIpNet.IP, []net.IP{relayVpnIpNet.IP})
+
+	relayControl.InjectLightHouseAddr(theirVpnIpNet.IP, theirUdpAddr)
+	relayControl.InjectLightHouseAddr(myVpnIpNet.IP, myUdpAddr)
+
+	// Build a router so we don't have to reason who gets which packet
+	r := router.NewR(t, myControl, relayControl, theirControl)
+	defer r.RenderFlow()
+
+	// Start the servers
+	myControl.Start()
+	relayControl.Start()
+	theirControl.Start()
+
+	r.Log("Get a tunnel between me and relay")
+	l.Info("Get a tunnel between me and relay")
+	assertTunnel(t, myVpnIpNet.IP, relayVpnIpNet.IP, myControl, relayControl, r)
+
+	r.Log("Get a tunnel between them and relay")
+	l.Info("Get a tunnel between them and relay")
+	assertTunnel(t, theirVpnIpNet.IP, relayVpnIpNet.IP, theirControl, relayControl, r)
+
+	r.Log("Trigger a handshake from both them and me via relay to them and me")
+	l.Info("Trigger a handshake from both them and me via relay to them and me")
+	myControl.InjectTunUDPPacket(theirVpnIpNet.IP, 80, 80, []byte("Hi from me"))
+	theirControl.InjectTunUDPPacket(myVpnIpNet.IP, 80, 80, []byte("Hi from them"))
+
+	//r.RouteUntilAfterMsgType(myControl, header.Control, header.MessageNone)
+	//r.RouteUntilAfterMsgType(theirControl, header.Control, header.MessageNone)
+
+	r.Log("Wait for a packet from them to me")
+	l.Info("Wait for a packet from them to me; myControl")
+	r.RouteForAllUntilTxTun(myControl)
+	l.Info("Wait for a packet from them to me; theirControl")
+	r.RouteForAllUntilTxTun(theirControl)
+
+	r.Log("Assert the tunnel works")
+	l.Info("Assert the tunnel works")
+	assertTunnel(t, theirVpnIpNet.IP, myVpnIpNet.IP, theirControl, myControl, r)
+
+	t.Log("Wait until we remove extra tunnels")
+	l.Info("Wait until we remove extra tunnels")
+	l.WithFields(
+		logrus.Fields{
+			"myControl":    len(myControl.GetHostmap().Indexes),
+			"theirControl": len(theirControl.GetHostmap().Indexes),
+			"relayControl": len(relayControl.GetHostmap().Indexes),
+		}).Info("Waiting for hostinfos to be removed...")
+	hostInfos := len(myControl.GetHostmap().Indexes) + len(theirControl.GetHostmap().Indexes) + len(relayControl.GetHostmap().Indexes)
+	retries := 60
+	for hostInfos > 6 && retries > 0 {
+		hostInfos = len(myControl.GetHostmap().Indexes) + len(theirControl.GetHostmap().Indexes) + len(relayControl.GetHostmap().Indexes)
+		l.WithFields(
+			logrus.Fields{
+				"myControl":    len(myControl.GetHostmap().Indexes),
+				"theirControl": len(theirControl.GetHostmap().Indexes),
+				"relayControl": len(relayControl.GetHostmap().Indexes),
+			}).Info("Waiting for hostinfos to be removed...")
+		assertTunnel(t, myVpnIpNet.IP, theirVpnIpNet.IP, myControl, theirControl, r)
+		t.Log("Connection manager hasn't ticked yet")
+		time.Sleep(time.Second)
+		retries--
+	}
+
+	r.Log("Assert the tunnel works")
+	l.Info("Assert the tunnel works")
+	assertTunnel(t, theirVpnIpNet.IP, myVpnIpNet.IP, theirControl, myControl, r)
+
+	myControl.Stop()
+	theirControl.Stop()
+	relayControl.Stop()
+
+	//
+	////TODO: assert hostmaps
+}
+
 //TODO: add a test with many lies
diff --git a/e2e/helpers_test.go b/e2e/helpers_test.go
index 3a2d7b5..ff1347f 100644
--- a/e2e/helpers_test.go
+++ b/e2e/helpers_test.go
@@ -77,6 +77,10 @@ func newSimpleServer(caCrt *cert.NebulaCertificate, caKey []byte, name string, u
 			"timestamp_format": fmt.Sprintf("%v 15:04:05.000000", name),
 			"level":            l.Level.String(),
 		},
+		"timers": m{
+			"pending_deletion_interval": 4,
+			"connection_alive_interval": 4,
+		},
 	}
 
 	if overrides != nil {
diff --git a/e2e/router/hostmap.go b/e2e/router/hostmap.go
index 10627fc..120be69 100644
--- a/e2e/router/hostmap.go
+++ b/e2e/router/hostmap.go
@@ -63,10 +63,13 @@ func renderHostmap(c *nebula.Control) (string, []*edge) {
 	r := fmt.Sprintf("\tsubgraph %s[\"%s (%s)\"]\n", clusterName, clusterName, clusterVpnIp)
 
 	hm := c.GetHostmap()
+	hm.RLock()
+	defer hm.RUnlock()
 
 	// Draw the vpn to index nodes
 	r += fmt.Sprintf("\t\tsubgraph %s.hosts[\"Hosts (vpn ip to index)\"]\n", clusterName)
-	for _, vpnIp := range sortedHosts(hm.Hosts) {
+	hosts := sortedHosts(hm.Hosts)
+	for _, vpnIp := range hosts {
 		hi := hm.Hosts[vpnIp]
 		r += fmt.Sprintf("\t\t\t%v.%v[\"%v\"]\n", clusterName, vpnIp, vpnIp)
 		lines = append(lines, fmt.Sprintf("%v.%v --> %v.%v", clusterName, vpnIp, clusterName, hi.GetLocalIndex()))
@@ -94,12 +97,15 @@ func renderHostmap(c *nebula.Control) (string, []*edge) {
 
 	// Draw the local index to relay or remote index nodes
 	r += fmt.Sprintf("\t\tsubgraph indexes.%s[\"Indexes (index to hostinfo)\"]\n", clusterName)
-	for _, idx := range sortedIndexes(hm.Indexes) {
-		hi := hm.Indexes[idx]
-		r += fmt.Sprintf("\t\t\t%v.%v[\"%v (%v)\"]\n", clusterName, idx, idx, hi.GetVpnIp())
-		remoteClusterName := strings.Trim(hi.GetCert().Details.Name, " ")
-		globalLines = append(globalLines, &edge{from: fmt.Sprintf("%v.%v", clusterName, idx), to: fmt.Sprintf("%v.%v", remoteClusterName, hi.GetRemoteIndex())})
-		_ = hi
+	indexes := sortedIndexes(hm.Indexes)
+	for _, idx := range indexes {
+		hi, ok := hm.Indexes[idx]
+		if ok {
+			r += fmt.Sprintf("\t\t\t%v.%v[\"%v (%v)\"]\n", clusterName, idx, idx, hi.GetVpnIp())
+			remoteClusterName := strings.Trim(hi.GetCert().Details.Name, " ")
+			globalLines = append(globalLines, &edge{from: fmt.Sprintf("%v.%v", clusterName, idx), to: fmt.Sprintf("%v.%v", remoteClusterName, hi.GetRemoteIndex())})
+			_ = hi
+		}
 	}
 	r += "\t\tend\n"
 
diff --git a/examples/config.yml b/examples/config.yml
index b571fa7..eae2db5 100644
--- a/examples/config.yml
+++ b/examples/config.yml
@@ -91,6 +91,19 @@ lighthouse:
     #- "1.1.1.1:4242"
     #- "1.2.3.4:0" # port will be replaced with the real listening port
 
+  # EXPERIMENTAL: This option may change or disappear in the future.
+  # This setting allows us to "guess" what the remote might be for a host
+  # while we wait for the lighthouse response.
+  #calculated_remotes:
+    # For any Nebula IPs in 10.0.10.0/24, this will apply the mask and add
+    # the calculated IP as an initial remote (while we wait for the response
+    # from the lighthouse). Both CIDRs must have the same mask size.
+    # For example, Nebula IP 10.0.10.123 will have a calculated remote of
+    # 192.168.1.123
+    #10.0.10.0/24:
+      #- mask: 192.168.1.0/24
+      #  port: 4242
+
 # Port Nebula will be listening on. The default here is 4242. For a lighthouse node, the port should be defined,
 # however using port 0 will dynamically assign a port and is recommended for roaming nodes.
 listen:
@@ -129,9 +142,12 @@ punchy:
   # Default is false
   #respond: true
 
-  # delays a punch response for misbehaving NATs, default is 1 second, respond must be true to take effect
+  # delays a punch response for misbehaving NATs, default is 1 second.
   #delay: 1s
 
+  # set the delay before attempting punchy.respond. Default is 5 seconds. respond must be true to take effect.
+  #respond_delay: 5s
+
 # Cipher allows you to choose between the available ciphers for your network. Options are chachapoly or aes
 # IMPORTANT: this value must be identical on ALL NODES/LIGHTHOUSES. We do not/will not support use of different ciphers simultaneously!
 #cipher: aes
@@ -299,6 +315,15 @@ logging:
 
 # Nebula security group configuration
 firewall:
+  # Action to take when a packet is not allowed by the firewall rules.
+  # Can be one of:
+  #   `drop` (default): silently drop the packet.
+  #   `reject`: send a reject reply.
+  #     - For TCP, this will be a RST "Connection Reset" packet.
+  #     - For other protocols, this will be an ICMP port unreachable packet.
+  outbound_action: drop
+  inbound_action: drop
+
   conntrack:
     tcp_timeout: 12m
     udp_timeout: 3m
diff --git a/firewall.go b/firewall.go
index 9fd75fc..061d9e6 100644
--- a/firewall.go
+++ b/firewall.go
@@ -47,6 +47,9 @@ type Firewall struct {
 	InRules  *FirewallTable
 	OutRules *FirewallTable
 
+	InSendReject  bool
+	OutSendReject bool
+
 	//TODO: we should have many more options for TCP, an option for ICMP, and mimic the kernel a bit better
 	// https://www.kernel.org/doc/Documentation/networking/nf_conntrack-sysctl.txt
 	TCPTimeout     time.Duration //linux: 5 days max
@@ -179,6 +182,28 @@ func NewFirewallFromConfig(l *logrus.Logger, nc *cert.NebulaCertificate, c *conf
 		//TODO: max_connections
 	)
 
+	inboundAction := c.GetString("firewall.inbound_action", "drop")
+	switch inboundAction {
+	case "reject":
+		fw.InSendReject = true
+	case "drop":
+		fw.InSendReject = false
+	default:
+		l.WithField("action", inboundAction).Warn("invalid firewall.inbound_action, defaulting to `drop`")
+		fw.InSendReject = false
+	}
+
+	outboundAction := c.GetString("firewall.outbound_action", "drop")
+	switch outboundAction {
+	case "reject":
+		fw.OutSendReject = true
+	case "drop":
+		fw.OutSendReject = false
+	default:
+		l.WithField("action", inboundAction).Warn("invalid firewall.outbound_action, defaulting to `drop`")
+		fw.OutSendReject = false
+	}
+
 	err := AddFirewallRulesFromConfig(l, false, c, fw)
 	if err != nil {
 		return nil, err
diff --git a/firewall_test.go b/firewall_test.go
index 4f24ac0..d824192 100644
--- a/firewall_test.go
+++ b/firewall_test.go
@@ -138,12 +138,12 @@ func TestFirewall_Drop(t *testing.T) {
 	l.SetOutput(ob)
 
 	p := firewall.Packet{
-		iputil.Ip2VpnIp(net.IPv4(1, 2, 3, 4)),
-		iputil.Ip2VpnIp(net.IPv4(1, 2, 3, 4)),
-		10,
-		90,
-		firewall.ProtoUDP,
-		false,
+		LocalIP:    iputil.Ip2VpnIp(net.IPv4(1, 2, 3, 4)),
+		RemoteIP:   iputil.Ip2VpnIp(net.IPv4(1, 2, 3, 4)),
+		LocalPort:  10,
+		RemotePort: 90,
+		Protocol:   firewall.ProtoUDP,
+		Fragment:   false,
 	}
 
 	ipNet := net.IPNet{
@@ -313,12 +313,12 @@ func TestFirewall_Drop2(t *testing.T) {
 	l.SetOutput(ob)
 
 	p := firewall.Packet{
-		iputil.Ip2VpnIp(net.IPv4(1, 2, 3, 4)),
-		iputil.Ip2VpnIp(net.IPv4(1, 2, 3, 4)),
-		10,
-		90,
-		firewall.ProtoUDP,
-		false,
+		LocalIP:    iputil.Ip2VpnIp(net.IPv4(1, 2, 3, 4)),
+		RemoteIP:   iputil.Ip2VpnIp(net.IPv4(1, 2, 3, 4)),
+		LocalPort:  10,
+		RemotePort: 90,
+		Protocol:   firewall.ProtoUDP,
+		Fragment:   false,
 	}
 
 	ipNet := net.IPNet{
@@ -372,12 +372,12 @@ func TestFirewall_Drop3(t *testing.T) {
 	l.SetOutput(ob)
 
 	p := firewall.Packet{
-		iputil.Ip2VpnIp(net.IPv4(1, 2, 3, 4)),
-		iputil.Ip2VpnIp(net.IPv4(1, 2, 3, 4)),
-		1,
-		1,
-		firewall.ProtoUDP,
-		false,
+		LocalIP:    iputil.Ip2VpnIp(net.IPv4(1, 2, 3, 4)),
+		RemoteIP:   iputil.Ip2VpnIp(net.IPv4(1, 2, 3, 4)),
+		LocalPort:  1,
+		RemotePort: 1,
+		Protocol:   firewall.ProtoUDP,
+		Fragment:   false,
 	}
 
 	ipNet := net.IPNet{
@@ -458,12 +458,12 @@ func TestFirewall_DropConntrackReload(t *testing.T) {
 	l.SetOutput(ob)
 
 	p := firewall.Packet{
-		iputil.Ip2VpnIp(net.IPv4(1, 2, 3, 4)),
-		iputil.Ip2VpnIp(net.IPv4(1, 2, 3, 4)),
-		10,
-		90,
-		firewall.ProtoUDP,
-		false,
+		LocalIP:    iputil.Ip2VpnIp(net.IPv4(1, 2, 3, 4)),
+		RemoteIP:   iputil.Ip2VpnIp(net.IPv4(1, 2, 3, 4)),
+		LocalPort:  10,
+		RemotePort: 90,
+		Protocol:   firewall.ProtoUDP,
+		Fragment:   false,
 	}
 
 	ipNet := net.IPNet{
diff --git a/go.mod b/go.mod
index d05ab70..2b2fafa 100644
--- a/go.mod
+++ b/go.mod
@@ -11,38 +11,38 @@ require (
 	github.com/google/gopacket v1.1.19
 	github.com/imdario/mergo v0.3.13
 	github.com/kardianos/service v1.2.2
-	github.com/miekg/dns v1.1.50
+	github.com/miekg/dns v1.1.52
 	github.com/nbrownus/go-metrics-prometheus v0.0.0-20210712211119-974a6260965f
 	github.com/prometheus/client_golang v1.14.0
 	github.com/rcrowley/go-metrics v0.0.0-20201227073835-cf1acfcdf475
 	github.com/sirupsen/logrus v1.9.0
 	github.com/skip2/go-qrcode v0.0.0-20200617195104-da1b6568686e
 	github.com/songgao/water v0.0.0-20200317203138-2b4b6d7c09d8
-	github.com/stretchr/testify v1.8.1
+	github.com/stretchr/testify v1.8.2
 	github.com/vishvananda/netlink v1.1.0
-	golang.org/x/crypto v0.3.0
-	golang.org/x/exp v0.0.0-20230224173230-c95f2b4c22f2
-	golang.org/x/net v0.2.0
-	golang.org/x/sys v0.2.0
-	golang.zx2c4.com/wintun v0.0.0-20211104114900-415007cec224
+	golang.org/x/crypto v0.7.0
+	golang.org/x/exp v0.0.0-20230310171629-522b1b587ee0
+	golang.org/x/net v0.8.0
+	golang.org/x/sys v0.6.0
+	golang.zx2c4.com/wintun v0.0.0-20230126152724-0fa3db229ce2
 	golang.zx2c4.com/wireguard/windows v0.5.3
-	google.golang.org/protobuf v1.28.1
+	google.golang.org/protobuf v1.29.0
 	gopkg.in/yaml.v2 v2.4.0
 )
 
 require (
 	github.com/beorn7/perks v1.0.1 // indirect
-	github.com/cespare/xxhash/v2 v2.1.2 // indirect
+	github.com/cespare/xxhash/v2 v2.2.0 // indirect
 	github.com/davecgh/go-spew v1.1.1 // indirect
-	github.com/golang/protobuf v1.5.2 // indirect
+	github.com/golang/protobuf v1.5.3 // indirect
 	github.com/matttproud/golang_protobuf_extensions v1.0.4 // indirect
 	github.com/pmezard/go-difflib v1.0.0 // indirect
 	github.com/prometheus/client_model v0.3.0 // indirect
-	github.com/prometheus/common v0.37.0 // indirect
-	github.com/prometheus/procfs v0.8.0 // indirect
-	github.com/vishvananda/netns v0.0.1 // indirect
-	golang.org/x/mod v0.7.0 // indirect
-	golang.org/x/term v0.2.0 // indirect
-	golang.org/x/tools v0.3.0 // indirect
+	github.com/prometheus/common v0.42.0 // indirect
+	github.com/prometheus/procfs v0.9.0 // indirect
+	github.com/vishvananda/netns v0.0.4 // indirect
+	golang.org/x/mod v0.9.0 // indirect
+	golang.org/x/term v0.6.0 // indirect
+	golang.org/x/tools v0.7.0 // indirect
 	gopkg.in/yaml.v3 v3.0.1 // indirect
 )
diff --git a/go.sum b/go.sum
index cb2db8e..6d3febc 100644
--- a/go.sum
+++ b/go.sum
@@ -1,38 +1,4 @@
-cloud.google.com/go v0.26.0/go.mod h1:aQUYkXzVsufM+DwF1aE+0xfcU+56JwCaLick0ClmMTw=
 cloud.google.com/go v0.34.0/go.mod h1:aQUYkXzVsufM+DwF1aE+0xfcU+56JwCaLick0ClmMTw=
-cloud.google.com/go v0.38.0/go.mod h1:990N+gfupTy94rShfmMCWGDn0LpTmnzTp2qbd1dvSRU=
-cloud.google.com/go v0.44.1/go.mod h1:iSa0KzasP4Uvy3f1mN/7PiObzGgflwredwwASm/v6AU=
-cloud.google.com/go v0.44.2/go.mod h1:60680Gw3Yr4ikxnPRS/oxxkBccT6SA1yMk63TGekxKY=
-cloud.google.com/go v0.45.1/go.mod h1:RpBamKRgapWJb87xiFSdk4g1CME7QZg3uwTez+TSTjc=
-cloud.google.com/go v0.46.3/go.mod h1:a6bKKbmY7er1mI7TEI4lsAkts/mkhTSZK8w33B4RAg0=
-cloud.google.com/go v0.50.0/go.mod h1:r9sluTvynVuxRIOHXQEHMFffphuXHOMZMycpNR5e6To=
-cloud.google.com/go v0.52.0/go.mod h1:pXajvRH/6o3+F9jDHZWQ5PbGhn+o8w9qiu/CffaVdO4=
-cloud.google.com/go v0.53.0/go.mod h1:fp/UouUEsRkN6ryDKNW/Upv/JBKnv6WDthjR6+vze6M=
-cloud.google.com/go v0.54.0/go.mod h1:1rq2OEkV3YMf6n/9ZvGWI3GWw0VoqH/1x2nd8Is/bPc=
-cloud.google.com/go v0.56.0/go.mod h1:jr7tqZxxKOVYizybht9+26Z/gUq7tiRzu+ACVAMbKVk=
-cloud.google.com/go v0.57.0/go.mod h1:oXiQ6Rzq3RAkkY7N6t3TcE6jE+CIBBbA36lwQ1JyzZs=
-cloud.google.com/go v0.62.0/go.mod h1:jmCYTdRCQuc1PHIIJ/maLInMho30T/Y0M4hTdTShOYc=
-cloud.google.com/go v0.65.0/go.mod h1:O5N8zS7uWy9vkA9vayVHs65eM1ubvY4h553ofrNHObY=
-cloud.google.com/go/bigquery v1.0.1/go.mod h1:i/xbL2UlR5RvWAURpBYZTtm/cXjCha9lbfbpx4poX+o=
-cloud.google.com/go/bigquery v1.3.0/go.mod h1:PjpwJnslEMmckchkHFfq+HTD2DmtT67aNFKH1/VBDHE=
-cloud.google.com/go/bigquery v1.4.0/go.mod h1:S8dzgnTigyfTmLBfrtrhyYhwRxG72rYxvftPBK2Dvzc=
-cloud.google.com/go/bigquery v1.5.0/go.mod h1:snEHRnqQbz117VIFhE8bmtwIDY80NLUZUMb4Nv6dBIg=
-cloud.google.com/go/bigquery v1.7.0/go.mod h1://okPTzCYNXSlb24MZs83e2Do+h+VXtc4gLoIoXIAPc=
-cloud.google.com/go/bigquery v1.8.0/go.mod h1:J5hqkt3O0uAFnINi6JXValWIb1v0goeZM77hZzJN/fQ=
-cloud.google.com/go/datastore v1.0.0/go.mod h1:LXYbyblFSglQ5pkeyhO+Qmw7ukd3C+pD7TKLgZqpHYE=
-cloud.google.com/go/datastore v1.1.0/go.mod h1:umbIZjpQpHh4hmRpGhH4tLFup+FVzqBi1b3c64qFpCk=
-cloud.google.com/go/pubsub v1.0.1/go.mod h1:R0Gpsv3s54REJCy4fxDixWD93lHJMoZTyQ2kNxGRt3I=
-cloud.google.com/go/pubsub v1.1.0/go.mod h1:EwwdRX2sKPjnvnqCa270oGRyludottCI76h+R3AArQw=
-cloud.google.com/go/pubsub v1.2.0/go.mod h1:jhfEVHT8odbXTkndysNHCcx0awwzvfOlguIAii9o8iA=
-cloud.google.com/go/pubsub v1.3.1/go.mod h1:i+ucay31+CNRpDW4Lu78I4xXG+O1r/MAHgjpRVR+TSU=
-cloud.google.com/go/storage v1.0.0/go.mod h1:IhtSnM/ZTZV8YYJWCY8RULGVqBDmpoyjwiyrjsg+URw=
-cloud.google.com/go/storage v1.5.0/go.mod h1:tpKbwo567HUNpVclU5sGELwQWBDZ8gh0ZeosJ0Rtdos=
-cloud.google.com/go/storage v1.6.0/go.mod h1:N7U0C8pVQ/+NIKOBQyamJIeKQKkZ+mxpohlUTyfDhBk=
-cloud.google.com/go/storage v1.8.0/go.mod h1:Wv1Oy7z6Yz3DshWRJFhqM/UCfaWIRTdp0RXyy7KQOVs=
-cloud.google.com/go/storage v1.10.0/go.mod h1:FLPqc6j+Ki4BU591ie1oL6qBQGu2Bl/tZ9ullr3+Kg0=
-dmitri.shuralyov.com/gpu/mtl v0.0.0-20190408044501-666a987793e9/go.mod h1:H6x//7gZCb22OMCxBHrMx7a5I7Hp++hsVxbQ4BYO7hU=
-github.com/BurntSushi/toml v0.3.1/go.mod h1:xHWCNGjB5oqiDr8zfno3MHue2Ht5sIBksp03qcyfWMU=
-github.com/BurntSushi/xgb v0.0.0-20160522181843-27f122750802/go.mod h1:IVnqGOEym/WlBOVXweHU+Q+/VP0lqqI8lqeDx9IjBqo=
 github.com/alecthomas/template v0.0.0-20160405071501-a0175ee3bccc/go.mod h1:LOuyumcjzFXgccqObfd/Ljyb9UuFJ6TxHnclSeseNhc=
 github.com/alecthomas/template v0.0.0-20190718012654-fb15b899a751/go.mod h1:LOuyumcjzFXgccqObfd/Ljyb9UuFJ6TxHnclSeseNhc=
 github.com/alecthomas/units v0.0.0-20151022065526-2efee857e7cf/go.mod h1:ybxpYRFXyAe+OPACYpWeL0wqObRcbAqCMya13uyzqw0=
@@ -46,108 +12,55 @@ github.com/beorn7/perks v0.0.0-20180321164747-3a771d992973/go.mod h1:Dwedo/Wpr24
 github.com/beorn7/perks v1.0.0/go.mod h1:KWe93zE9D1o94FZ5RNwFwVgaQK1VOXiVxmqh+CedLV8=
 github.com/beorn7/perks v1.0.1 h1:VlbKKnNfV8bJzeqoa4cOKqO6bYr3WgKZxO8Z16+hsOM=
 github.com/beorn7/perks v1.0.1/go.mod h1:G2ZrVWU2WbWT9wwq4/hrbKbnv/1ERSJQ0ibhJ6rlkpw=
-github.com/census-instrumentation/opencensus-proto v0.2.1/go.mod h1:f6KPmirojxKA12rnyqOA5BBL4O983OfeGPqjHWSTneU=
 github.com/cespare/xxhash/v2 v2.1.1/go.mod h1:VGX0DQ3Q6kWi7AoAeZDth3/j3BFtOZR5XLFGgcrjCOs=
-github.com/cespare/xxhash/v2 v2.1.2 h1:YRXhKfTDauu4ajMg1TPgFO5jnlC2HCbmLXMcTG5cbYE=
-github.com/cespare/xxhash/v2 v2.1.2/go.mod h1:VGX0DQ3Q6kWi7AoAeZDth3/j3BFtOZR5XLFGgcrjCOs=
-github.com/chzyer/logex v1.1.10/go.mod h1:+Ywpsq7O8HXn0nuIou7OrIPyXbp3wmkHB+jjWRnGsAI=
-github.com/chzyer/readline v0.0.0-20180603132655-2972be24d48e/go.mod h1:nSuG5e5PlCu98SY8svDHJxuZscDgtXS6KTTbou5AhLI=
-github.com/chzyer/test v0.0.0-20180213035817-a1ea475d72b1/go.mod h1:Q3SI9o4m/ZMnBNeIyt5eFwwo7qiLfzFZmjNmxjkiQlU=
-github.com/client9/misspell v0.3.4/go.mod h1:qj6jICC3Q7zFZvVWo7KLAzC3yx5G7kyvSDkc90ppPyw=
-github.com/cncf/udpa/go v0.0.0-20191209042840-269d4d468f6f/go.mod h1:M8M6+tZqaGXZJjfX53e64911xZQV5JYwmTeXPW+k8Sc=
+github.com/cespare/xxhash/v2 v2.2.0 h1:DC2CZ1Ep5Y4k3ZQ899DldepgrayRUGE6BBZ/cd9Cj44=
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@@ -166,13 +79,12 @@ github.com/kr/text v0.1.0/go.mod h1:4Jbv+DJW3UT/LiOwJeYQe1efqtUx/iVham/4vfdArNI=
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@@ -186,31 +98,26 @@ github.com/prometheus/client_golang v0.9.1/go.mod h1:7SWBe2y4D6OKWSNQJUaRYU/AaXP
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 gopkg.in/check.v1 v1.0.0-20190902080502-41f04d3bba15/go.mod h1:Co6ibVJAznAaIkqp8huTwlJQCZ016jof/cbN4VW5Yz0=
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 gopkg.in/check.v1 v1.0.0-20201130134442-10cb98267c6c/go.mod h1:JHkPIbrfpd72SG/EVd6muEfDQjcINNoR0C8j2r3qZ4Q=
-gopkg.in/errgo.v2 v2.1.0/go.mod h1:hNsd1EY+bozCKY1Ytp96fpM3vjJbqLJn88ws8XvfDNI=
 gopkg.in/yaml.v2 v2.2.1/go.mod h1:hI93XBmqTisBFMUTm0b8Fm+jr3Dg1NNxqwp+5A1VGuI=
 gopkg.in/yaml.v2 v2.2.2/go.mod h1:hI93XBmqTisBFMUTm0b8Fm+jr3Dg1NNxqwp+5A1VGuI=
 gopkg.in/yaml.v2 v2.2.4/go.mod h1:hI93XBmqTisBFMUTm0b8Fm+jr3Dg1NNxqwp+5A1VGuI=
@@ -557,13 +249,3 @@ gopkg.in/yaml.v3 v3.0.0-20200313102051-9f266ea9e77c/go.mod h1:K4uyk7z7BCEPqu6E+C
 gopkg.in/yaml.v3 v3.0.0/go.mod h1:K4uyk7z7BCEPqu6E+C64Yfv1cQ7kz7rIZviUmN+EgEM=
 gopkg.in/yaml.v3 v3.0.1 h1:fxVm/GzAzEWqLHuvctI91KS9hhNmmWOoWu0XTYJS7CA=
 gopkg.in/yaml.v3 v3.0.1/go.mod h1:K4uyk7z7BCEPqu6E+C64Yfv1cQ7kz7rIZviUmN+EgEM=
-honnef.co/go/tools v0.0.0-20190102054323-c2f93a96b099/go.mod h1:rf3lG4BRIbNafJWhAfAdb/ePZxsR/4RtNHQocxwk9r4=
-honnef.co/go/tools v0.0.0-20190106161140-3f1c8253044a/go.mod h1:rf3lG4BRIbNafJWhAfAdb/ePZxsR/4RtNHQocxwk9r4=
-honnef.co/go/tools v0.0.0-20190418001031-e561f6794a2a/go.mod h1:rf3lG4BRIbNafJWhAfAdb/ePZxsR/4RtNHQocxwk9r4=
-honnef.co/go/tools v0.0.0-20190523083050-ea95bdfd59fc/go.mod h1:rf3lG4BRIbNafJWhAfAdb/ePZxsR/4RtNHQocxwk9r4=
-honnef.co/go/tools v0.0.1-2019.2.3/go.mod h1:a3bituU0lyd329TUQxRnasdCoJDkEUEAqEt0JzvZhAg=
-honnef.co/go/tools v0.0.1-2020.1.3/go.mod h1:X/FiERA/W4tHapMX5mGpAtMSVEeEUOyHaw9vFzvIQ3k=
-honnef.co/go/tools v0.0.1-2020.1.4/go.mod h1:X/FiERA/W4tHapMX5mGpAtMSVEeEUOyHaw9vFzvIQ3k=
-rsc.io/binaryregexp v0.2.0/go.mod h1:qTv7/COck+e2FymRvadv62gMdZztPaShugOCi3I+8D8=
-rsc.io/quote/v3 v3.1.0/go.mod h1:yEA65RcK8LyAZtP9Kv3t0HmxON59tX3rD+tICJqUlj0=
-rsc.io/sampler v1.3.0/go.mod h1:T1hPZKmBbMNahiBKFy5HrXp6adAjACjK9JXDnKaTXpA=
diff --git a/handshake_ix.go b/handshake_ix.go
index 92862aa..7d951ca 100644
--- a/handshake_ix.go
+++ b/handshake_ix.go
@@ -381,12 +381,7 @@ func ixHandshakeStage1(f *Interface, addr *udp.Addr, via interface{}, packet []b
 			Info("Handshake message sent")
 	}
 
-	if existing != nil {
-		// Make sure we are tracking the old primary if there was one, it needs to go away eventually
-		f.connectionManager.Out(existing.localIndexId)
-	}
-
-	f.connectionManager.Out(hostinfo.localIndexId)
+	f.connectionManager.AddTrafficWatch(hostinfo.localIndexId)
 	hostinfo.handshakeComplete(f.l, f.cachedPacketMetrics)
 
 	return
@@ -564,12 +559,8 @@ func ixHandshakeStage2(f *Interface, addr *udp.Addr, via interface{}, hostinfo *
 	hostinfo.CreateRemoteCIDR(remoteCert)
 
 	// Complete our handshake and update metrics, this will replace any existing tunnels for this vpnIp
-	existing := f.handshakeManager.Complete(hostinfo, f)
-	if existing != nil {
-		// Make sure we are tracking the old primary if there was one, it needs to go away eventually
-		f.connectionManager.Out(existing.localIndexId)
-	}
-
+	f.handshakeManager.Complete(hostinfo, f)
+	f.connectionManager.AddTrafficWatch(hostinfo.localIndexId)
 	hostinfo.handshakeComplete(f.l, f.cachedPacketMetrics)
 	f.metricHandshakes.Update(duration)
 
diff --git a/handshake_manager.go b/handshake_manager.go
index cac47f0..7a411c5 100644
--- a/handshake_manager.go
+++ b/handshake_manager.go
@@ -145,14 +145,6 @@ func (c *HandshakeManager) handleOutbound(vpnIp iputil.VpnIp, f udp.EncWriter, l
 		return
 	}
 
-	// We only care about a lighthouse trigger before the first handshake transmit attempt. This is a very specific
-	// optimization for a fast lighthouse reply
-	//TODO: it would feel better to do this once, anytime, as our delay increases over time
-	if lighthouseTriggered && hostinfo.HandshakeCounter > 0 {
-		// If we didn't return here a lighthouse could cause us to aggressively send handshakes
-		return
-	}
-
 	// Get a remotes object if we don't already have one.
 	// This is mainly to protect us as this should never be the case
 	// NB ^ This comment doesn't jive. It's how the thing gets initialized.
@@ -161,8 +153,22 @@ func (c *HandshakeManager) handleOutbound(vpnIp iputil.VpnIp, f udp.EncWriter, l
 		hostinfo.remotes = c.lightHouse.QueryCache(vpnIp)
 	}
 
-	//TODO: this will generate a load of queries for hosts with only 1 ip (i'm not using a lighthouse, static mapped)
-	if hostinfo.remotes.Len(c.pendingHostMap.preferredRanges) <= 1 {
+	remotes := hostinfo.remotes.CopyAddrs(c.pendingHostMap.preferredRanges)
+	remotesHaveChanged := !udp.AddrSlice(remotes).Equal(hostinfo.HandshakeLastRemotes)
+
+	// We only care about a lighthouse trigger if we have new remotes to send to.
+	// This is a very specific optimization for a fast lighthouse reply.
+	if lighthouseTriggered && !remotesHaveChanged {
+		// If we didn't return here a lighthouse could cause us to aggressively send handshakes
+		return
+	}
+
+	hostinfo.HandshakeLastRemotes = remotes
+
+	// TODO: this will generate a load of queries for hosts with only 1 ip
+	// (such as ones registered to the lighthouse with only a private IP)
+	// So we only do it one time after attempting 5 handshakes already.
+	if len(remotes) <= 1 && hostinfo.HandshakeCounter == 5 {
 		// If we only have 1 remote it is highly likely our query raced with the other host registered within the lighthouse
 		// Our vpnIp here has a tunnel with a lighthouse but has yet to send a host update packet there so we only know about
 		// the learned public ip for them. Query again to short circuit the promotion counter
@@ -207,17 +213,23 @@ func (c *HandshakeManager) handleOutbound(vpnIp iputil.VpnIp, f udp.EncWriter, l
 		}
 	})
 
-	// Don't be too noisy or confusing if we fail to send a handshake - if we don't get through we'll eventually log a timeout
-	if len(sentTo) > 0 {
+	// Don't be too noisy or confusing if we fail to send a handshake - if we don't get through we'll eventually log a timeout,
+	// so only log when the list of remotes has changed
+	if remotesHaveChanged {
 		hostinfo.logger(c.l).WithField("udpAddrs", sentTo).
 			WithField("initiatorIndex", hostinfo.localIndexId).
 			WithField("handshake", m{"stage": 1, "style": "ix_psk0"}).
 			WithField("multiportHandshake", sentMultiport).
 			Info("Handshake message sent")
+	} else if c.l.IsLevelEnabled(logrus.DebugLevel) {
+		hostinfo.logger(c.l).WithField("udpAddrs", sentTo).
+			WithField("initiatorIndex", hostinfo.localIndexId).
+			WithField("handshake", m{"stage": 1, "style": "ix_psk0"}).
+			Debug("Handshake message sent")
 	}
 
 	if c.config.useRelays && len(hostinfo.remotes.relays) > 0 {
-		hostinfo.logger(c.l).WithField("relayIps", hostinfo.remotes.relays).Info("Attempt to relay through hosts")
+		hostinfo.logger(c.l).WithField("relays", hostinfo.remotes.relays).Info("Attempt to relay through hosts")
 		// Send a RelayRequest to all known Relay IP's
 		for _, relay := range hostinfo.remotes.relays {
 			// Don't relay to myself, and don't relay through the host I'm trying to connect to
@@ -226,7 +238,7 @@ func (c *HandshakeManager) handleOutbound(vpnIp iputil.VpnIp, f udp.EncWriter, l
 			}
 			relayHostInfo, err := c.mainHostMap.QueryVpnIp(*relay)
 			if err != nil || relayHostInfo.remote == nil {
-				hostinfo.logger(c.l).WithError(err).WithField("relay", relay.String()).Info("Establish tunnel to relay target.")
+				hostinfo.logger(c.l).WithError(err).WithField("relay", relay.String()).Info("Establish tunnel to relay target")
 				f.Handshake(*relay)
 				continue
 			}
@@ -252,12 +264,18 @@ func (c *HandshakeManager) handleOutbound(vpnIp iputil.VpnIp, f udp.EncWriter, l
 							Error("Failed to marshal Control message to create relay")
 					} else {
 						f.SendMessageToVpnIp(header.Control, 0, *relay, msg, make([]byte, 12), make([]byte, mtu))
+						c.l.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
+							"relayFrom":           c.lightHouse.myVpnIp,
+							"relayTo":             vpnIp,
+							"initiatorRelayIndex": existingRelay.LocalIndex,
+							"relay":               *relay}).
+							Info("send CreateRelayRequest")
 					}
 				default:
 					hostinfo.logger(c.l).
 						WithField("vpnIp", vpnIp).
 						WithField("state", existingRelay.State).
-						WithField("relayVpnIp", relayHostInfo.vpnIp).
+						WithField("relay", relayHostInfo.vpnIp).
 						Errorf("Relay unexpected state")
 				}
 			} else {
@@ -281,6 +299,12 @@ func (c *HandshakeManager) handleOutbound(vpnIp iputil.VpnIp, f udp.EncWriter, l
 							Error("Failed to marshal Control message to create relay")
 					} else {
 						f.SendMessageToVpnIp(header.Control, 0, *relay, msg, make([]byte, 12), make([]byte, mtu))
+						c.l.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
+							"relayFrom":           c.lightHouse.myVpnIp,
+							"relayTo":             vpnIp,
+							"initiatorRelayIndex": idx,
+							"relay":               *relay}).
+							Info("send CreateRelayRequest")
 					}
 				}
 			}
@@ -347,7 +371,7 @@ func (c *HandshakeManager) CheckAndComplete(hostinfo *HostInfo, handshakePacket
 		}
 
 		// Is this a newer handshake?
-		if existingHostInfo.lastHandshakeTime >= hostinfo.lastHandshakeTime {
+		if existingHostInfo.lastHandshakeTime >= hostinfo.lastHandshakeTime && !existingHostInfo.ConnectionState.initiator {
 			return existingHostInfo, ErrExistingHostInfo
 		}
 
@@ -382,7 +406,7 @@ func (c *HandshakeManager) CheckAndComplete(hostinfo *HostInfo, handshakePacket
 // Complete is a simpler version of CheckAndComplete when we already know we
 // won't have a localIndexId collision because we already have an entry in the
 // pendingHostMap. An existing hostinfo is returned if there was one.
-func (c *HandshakeManager) Complete(hostinfo *HostInfo, f *Interface) *HostInfo {
+func (c *HandshakeManager) Complete(hostinfo *HostInfo, f *Interface) {
 	c.pendingHostMap.Lock()
 	defer c.pendingHostMap.Unlock()
 	c.mainHostMap.Lock()
@@ -397,10 +421,9 @@ func (c *HandshakeManager) Complete(hostinfo *HostInfo, f *Interface) *HostInfo
 			Info("New host shadows existing host remoteIndex")
 	}
 
-	existingHostInfo := c.mainHostMap.Hosts[hostinfo.vpnIp]
-	c.mainHostMap.unlockedAddHostInfo(hostinfo, f)
+	// We need to remove from the pending hostmap first to avoid undoing work when after to the main hostmap.
 	c.pendingHostMap.unlockedDeleteHostInfo(hostinfo)
-	return existingHostInfo
+	c.mainHostMap.unlockedAddHostInfo(hostinfo, f)
 }
 
 // AddIndexHostInfo generates a unique localIndexId for this HostInfo
diff --git a/handshake_manager_test.go b/handshake_manager_test.go
index 413a50a..84b8ef6 100644
--- a/handshake_manager_test.go
+++ b/handshake_manager_test.go
@@ -66,46 +66,6 @@ func Test_NewHandshakeManagerVpnIp(t *testing.T) {
 	assert.NotContains(t, blah.pendingHostMap.Hosts, ip)
 }
 
-func Test_NewHandshakeManagerTrigger(t *testing.T) {
-	l := test.NewLogger()
-	_, tuncidr, _ := net.ParseCIDR("172.1.1.1/24")
-	_, vpncidr, _ := net.ParseCIDR("172.1.1.1/24")
-	_, localrange, _ := net.ParseCIDR("10.1.1.1/24")
-	ip := iputil.Ip2VpnIp(net.ParseIP("172.1.1.2"))
-	preferredRanges := []*net.IPNet{localrange}
-	mw := &mockEncWriter{}
-	mainHM := NewHostMap(l, "test", vpncidr, preferredRanges)
-	lh := newTestLighthouse()
-
-	blah := NewHandshakeManager(l, tuncidr, preferredRanges, mainHM, lh, &udp.Conn{}, defaultHandshakeConfig)
-
-	now := time.Now()
-	blah.NextOutboundHandshakeTimerTick(now, mw)
-
-	assert.Equal(t, 0, testCountTimerWheelEntries(blah.OutboundHandshakeTimer))
-
-	hi := blah.AddVpnIp(ip, nil)
-	hi.HandshakeReady = true
-	assert.Equal(t, 1, testCountTimerWheelEntries(blah.OutboundHandshakeTimer))
-	assert.Equal(t, 0, hi.HandshakeCounter, "Should not have attempted a handshake yet")
-
-	// Trigger the same method the channel will but, this should set our remotes pointer
-	blah.handleOutbound(ip, mw, true)
-	assert.Equal(t, 1, hi.HandshakeCounter, "Trigger should have done a handshake attempt")
-	assert.NotNil(t, hi.remotes, "Manager should have set my remotes pointer")
-
-	// Make sure the trigger doesn't double schedule the timer entry
-	assert.Equal(t, 1, testCountTimerWheelEntries(blah.OutboundHandshakeTimer))
-
-	uaddr := udp.NewAddrFromString("10.1.1.1:4242")
-	hi.remotes.unlockedPrependV4(ip, NewIp4AndPort(uaddr.IP, uint32(uaddr.Port)))
-
-	// We now have remotes but only the first trigger should have pushed things forward
-	blah.handleOutbound(ip, mw, true)
-	assert.Equal(t, 1, hi.HandshakeCounter, "Trigger should have not done a handshake attempt")
-	assert.Equal(t, 1, testCountTimerWheelEntries(blah.OutboundHandshakeTimer))
-}
-
 func testCountTimerWheelEntries(tw *LockingTimerWheel[iputil.VpnIp]) (c int) {
 	for _, i := range tw.t.wheel {
 		n := i.Head
diff --git a/hostmap.go b/hostmap.go
index 293cde3..d8842ce 100644
--- a/hostmap.go
+++ b/hostmap.go
@@ -1,7 +1,6 @@
 package nebula
 
 import (
-	"context"
 	"errors"
 	"fmt"
 	"net"
@@ -63,6 +62,9 @@ type HostMap struct {
 	l               *logrus.Logger
 }
 
+// For synchronization, treat the pointed-to Relay struct as immutable. To edit the Relay
+// struct, make a copy of an existing value, edit the fileds in the copy, and
+// then store a pointer to the new copy in both realyForBy* maps.
 type RelayState struct {
 	sync.RWMutex
 
@@ -123,13 +125,43 @@ func (rs *RelayState) CopyRelayForIdxs() []uint32 {
 func (rs *RelayState) RemoveRelay(localIdx uint32) (iputil.VpnIp, bool) {
 	rs.Lock()
 	defer rs.Unlock()
-	relay, ok := rs.relayForByIdx[localIdx]
+	r, ok := rs.relayForByIdx[localIdx]
 	if !ok {
 		return iputil.VpnIp(0), false
 	}
 	delete(rs.relayForByIdx, localIdx)
-	delete(rs.relayForByIp, relay.PeerIp)
-	return relay.PeerIp, true
+	delete(rs.relayForByIp, r.PeerIp)
+	return r.PeerIp, true
+}
+
+func (rs *RelayState) CompleteRelayByIP(vpnIp iputil.VpnIp, remoteIdx uint32) bool {
+	rs.Lock()
+	defer rs.Unlock()
+	r, ok := rs.relayForByIp[vpnIp]
+	if !ok {
+		return false
+	}
+	newRelay := *r
+	newRelay.State = Established
+	newRelay.RemoteIndex = remoteIdx
+	rs.relayForByIdx[r.LocalIndex] = &newRelay
+	rs.relayForByIp[r.PeerIp] = &newRelay
+	return true
+}
+
+func (rs *RelayState) CompleteRelayByIdx(localIdx uint32, remoteIdx uint32) (*Relay, bool) {
+	rs.Lock()
+	defer rs.Unlock()
+	r, ok := rs.relayForByIdx[localIdx]
+	if !ok {
+		return nil, false
+	}
+	newRelay := *r
+	newRelay.State = Established
+	newRelay.RemoteIndex = remoteIdx
+	rs.relayForByIdx[r.LocalIndex] = &newRelay
+	rs.relayForByIp[r.PeerIp] = &newRelay
+	return &newRelay, true
 }
 
 func (rs *RelayState) QueryRelayForByIp(vpnIp iputil.VpnIp) (*Relay, bool) {
@@ -145,6 +177,7 @@ func (rs *RelayState) QueryRelayForByIdx(idx uint32) (*Relay, bool) {
 	r, ok := rs.relayForByIdx[idx]
 	return r, ok
 }
+
 func (rs *RelayState) InsertRelay(ip iputil.VpnIp, idx uint32, r *Relay) {
 	rs.Lock()
 	defer rs.Unlock()
@@ -155,24 +188,25 @@ func (rs *RelayState) InsertRelay(ip iputil.VpnIp, idx uint32, r *Relay) {
 type HostInfo struct {
 	sync.RWMutex
 
-	remote            *udp.Addr
-	remotes           *RemoteList
-	promoteCounter    atomic.Uint32
-	multiportTx       bool
-	multiportRx       bool
-	ConnectionState   *ConnectionState
-	handshakeStart    time.Time        //todo: this an entry in the handshake manager
-	HandshakeReady    bool             //todo: being in the manager means you are ready
-	HandshakeCounter  int              //todo: another handshake manager entry
-	HandshakeComplete bool             //todo: this should go away in favor of ConnectionState.ready
-	HandshakePacket   map[uint8][]byte //todo: this is other handshake manager entry
-	packetStore       []*cachedPacket  //todo: this is other handshake manager entry
-	remoteIndexId     uint32
-	localIndexId      uint32
-	vpnIp             iputil.VpnIp
-	recvError         int
-	remoteCidr        *cidr.Tree4
-	relayState        RelayState
+	remote               *udp.Addr
+	remotes              *RemoteList
+	promoteCounter       atomic.Uint32
+	multiportTx          bool
+	multiportRx          bool
+	ConnectionState      *ConnectionState
+	handshakeStart       time.Time        //todo: this an entry in the handshake manager
+	HandshakeReady       bool             //todo: being in the manager means you are ready
+	HandshakeCounter     int              //todo: another handshake manager entry
+	HandshakeLastRemotes []*udp.Addr      //todo: another handshake manager entry, which remotes we sent to last time
+	HandshakeComplete    bool             //todo: this should go away in favor of ConnectionState.ready
+	HandshakePacket      map[uint8][]byte //todo: this is other handshake manager entry
+	packetStore          []*cachedPacket  //todo: this is other handshake manager entry
+	remoteIndexId        uint32
+	localIndexId         uint32
+	vpnIp                iputil.VpnIp
+	recvError            int
+	remoteCidr           *cidr.Tree4
+	relayState           RelayState
 
 	// lastRebindCount is the other side of Interface.rebindCount, if these values don't match then we need to ask LH
 	// for a punch from the remote end of this tunnel. The goal being to prime their conntrack for our traffic just like
@@ -315,20 +349,6 @@ func (hm *HostMap) AddVpnIp(vpnIp iputil.VpnIp, init func(hostinfo *HostInfo)) (
 	}
 }
 
-func (hm *HostMap) DeleteVpnIp(vpnIp iputil.VpnIp) {
-	hm.Lock()
-	delete(hm.Hosts, vpnIp)
-	if len(hm.Hosts) == 0 {
-		hm.Hosts = map[iputil.VpnIp]*HostInfo{}
-	}
-	hm.Unlock()
-
-	if hm.l.Level >= logrus.DebugLevel {
-		hm.l.WithField("hostMap", m{"mapName": hm.name, "vpnIp": vpnIp, "mapTotalSize": len(hm.Hosts)}).
-			Debug("Hostmap vpnIp deleted")
-	}
-}
-
 // Only used by pendingHostMap when the remote index is not initially known
 func (hm *HostMap) addRemoteIndexHostInfo(index uint32, h *HostInfo) {
 	hm.Lock()
@@ -343,45 +363,8 @@ func (hm *HostMap) addRemoteIndexHostInfo(index uint32, h *HostInfo) {
 	}
 }
 
-func (hm *HostMap) AddVpnIpHostInfo(vpnIp iputil.VpnIp, h *HostInfo) {
-	hm.Lock()
-	h.vpnIp = vpnIp
-	hm.Hosts[vpnIp] = h
-	hm.Indexes[h.localIndexId] = h
-	hm.RemoteIndexes[h.remoteIndexId] = h
-	hm.Unlock()
-
-	if hm.l.Level > logrus.DebugLevel {
-		hm.l.WithField("hostMap", m{"mapName": hm.name, "vpnIp": vpnIp, "mapTotalSize": len(hm.Hosts),
-			"hostinfo": m{"existing": true, "localIndexId": h.localIndexId, "vpnIp": h.vpnIp}}).
-			Debug("Hostmap vpnIp added")
-	}
-}
-
-// This is only called in pendingHostmap, to cleanup an inbound handshake
-func (hm *HostMap) DeleteIndex(index uint32) {
-	hm.Lock()
-	hostinfo, ok := hm.Indexes[index]
-	if ok {
-		delete(hm.Indexes, index)
-		delete(hm.RemoteIndexes, hostinfo.remoteIndexId)
-
-		// Check if we have an entry under hostId that matches the same hostinfo
-		// instance. Clean it up as well if we do.
-		hostinfo2, ok := hm.Hosts[hostinfo.vpnIp]
-		if ok && hostinfo2 == hostinfo {
-			delete(hm.Hosts, hostinfo.vpnIp)
-		}
-	}
-	hm.Unlock()
-
-	if hm.l.Level >= logrus.DebugLevel {
-		hm.l.WithField("hostMap", m{"mapName": hm.name, "indexNumber": index, "mapTotalSize": len(hm.Indexes)}).
-			Debug("Hostmap index deleted")
-	}
-}
-
-// This is used to cleanup on recv_error
+// DeleteReverseIndex is used to clean up on recv_error
+// This function should only ever be called on the pending hostmap
 func (hm *HostMap) DeleteReverseIndex(index uint32) {
 	hm.Lock()
 	hostinfo, ok := hm.RemoteIndexes[index]
@@ -414,25 +397,27 @@ func (hm *HostMap) DeleteHostInfo(hostinfo *HostInfo) bool {
 	hm.unlockedDeleteHostInfo(hostinfo)
 	hm.Unlock()
 
-	// And tear down all the relays going through this host
+	// And tear down all the relays going through this host, if final
 	for _, localIdx := range hostinfo.relayState.CopyRelayForIdxs() {
 		hm.RemoveRelay(localIdx)
 	}
 
-	// And tear down the relays this deleted hostInfo was using to be reached
-	teardownRelayIdx := []uint32{}
-	for _, relayIp := range hostinfo.relayState.CopyRelayIps() {
-		relayHostInfo, err := hm.QueryVpnIp(relayIp)
-		if err != nil {
-			hm.l.WithError(err).WithField("relay", relayIp).Info("Missing relay host in hostmap")
-		} else {
-			if r, ok := relayHostInfo.relayState.QueryRelayForByIp(hostinfo.vpnIp); ok {
-				teardownRelayIdx = append(teardownRelayIdx, r.LocalIndex)
+	if final {
+		// And tear down the relays this deleted hostInfo was using to be reached
+		teardownRelayIdx := []uint32{}
+		for _, relayIp := range hostinfo.relayState.CopyRelayIps() {
+			relayHostInfo, err := hm.QueryVpnIp(relayIp)
+			if err != nil {
+				hm.l.WithError(err).WithField("relay", relayIp).Info("Missing relay host in hostmap")
+			} else {
+				if r, ok := relayHostInfo.relayState.QueryRelayForByIp(hostinfo.vpnIp); ok {
+					teardownRelayIdx = append(teardownRelayIdx, r.LocalIndex)
+				}
 			}
 		}
-	}
-	for _, localIdx := range teardownRelayIdx {
-		hm.RemoveRelay(localIdx)
+		for _, localIdx := range teardownRelayIdx {
+			hm.RemoveRelay(localIdx)
+		}
 	}
 
 	return final
@@ -538,6 +523,20 @@ func (hm *HostMap) QueryIndex(index uint32) (*HostInfo, error) {
 		return nil, errors.New("unable to find index")
 	}
 }
+
+// Retrieves a HostInfo by Index. Returns whether the HostInfo is primary at time of query.
+// This helper exists so that the hostinfo.prev pointer can be read while the hostmap lock is held.
+func (hm *HostMap) QueryIndexIsPrimary(index uint32) (*HostInfo, bool, error) {
+	//TODO: we probably just want to return bool instead of error, or at least a static error
+	hm.RLock()
+	if h, ok := hm.Indexes[index]; ok {
+		hm.RUnlock()
+		return h, h.prev == nil, nil
+	} else {
+		hm.RUnlock()
+		return nil, false, errors.New("unable to find index")
+	}
+}
 func (hm *HostMap) QueryRelayIndex(index uint32) (*HostInfo, error) {
 	//TODO: we probably just want to return bool instead of error, or at least a static error
 	hm.RLock()
@@ -623,54 +622,6 @@ func (hm *HostMap) unlockedAddHostInfo(hostinfo *HostInfo, f *Interface) {
 	}
 }
 
-// punchList assembles a list of all non nil RemoteList pointer entries in this hostmap
-// The caller can then do the its work outside of the read lock
-func (hm *HostMap) punchList(rl []*RemoteList) []*RemoteList {
-	hm.RLock()
-	defer hm.RUnlock()
-
-	for _, v := range hm.Hosts {
-		if v.remotes != nil {
-			rl = append(rl, v.remotes)
-		}
-	}
-	return rl
-}
-
-// Punchy iterates through the result of punchList() to assemble all known addresses and sends a hole punch packet to them
-func (hm *HostMap) Punchy(ctx context.Context, conn *udp.Conn) {
-	var metricsTxPunchy metrics.Counter
-	if hm.metricsEnabled {
-		metricsTxPunchy = metrics.GetOrRegisterCounter("messages.tx.punchy", nil)
-	} else {
-		metricsTxPunchy = metrics.NilCounter{}
-	}
-
-	var remotes []*RemoteList
-	b := []byte{1}
-
-	clockSource := time.NewTicker(time.Second * 10)
-	defer clockSource.Stop()
-
-	for {
-		remotes = hm.punchList(remotes[:0])
-		for _, rl := range remotes {
-			//TODO: CopyAddrs generates garbage but ForEach locks for the work here, figure out which way is better
-			for _, addr := range rl.CopyAddrs(hm.preferredRanges) {
-				metricsTxPunchy.Inc(1)
-				conn.WriteTo(b, addr)
-			}
-		}
-
-		select {
-		case <-ctx.Done():
-			return
-		case <-clockSource.C:
-			continue
-		}
-	}
-}
-
 // TryPromoteBest handles re-querying lighthouses and probing for better paths
 // NOTE: It is an error to call this if you are a lighthouse since they should not roam clients!
 func (i *HostInfo) TryPromoteBest(preferredRanges []*net.IPNet, ifce *Interface) {
diff --git a/hostmap_tester.go b/hostmap_tester.go
index 1d4323f..0d5d41b 100644
--- a/hostmap_tester.go
+++ b/hostmap_tester.go
@@ -19,6 +19,6 @@ func (i *HostInfo) GetRemoteIndex() uint32 {
 	return i.remoteIndexId
 }
 
-func (i *HostInfo) GetRelayState() RelayState {
-	return i.relayState
+func (i *HostInfo) GetRelayState() *RelayState {
+	return &i.relayState
 }
diff --git a/inside.go b/inside.go
index 5050337..3804f75 100644
--- a/inside.go
+++ b/inside.go
@@ -46,6 +46,7 @@ func (f *Interface) consumeInsidePacket(packet []byte, fwPacket *firewall.Packet
 
 	hostinfo := f.getOrHandshake(fwPacket.RemoteIP)
 	if hostinfo == nil {
+		f.rejectInside(packet, out, q)
 		if f.l.Level >= logrus.DebugLevel {
 			f.l.WithField("vpnIp", fwPacket.RemoteIP).
 				WithField("fwPacket", fwPacket).
@@ -71,14 +72,42 @@ func (f *Interface) consumeInsidePacket(packet []byte, fwPacket *firewall.Packet
 	if dropReason == nil {
 		f.sendNoMetrics(header.Message, 0, ci, hostinfo, nil, packet, nb, out, q, fwPacket)
 
-	} else if f.l.Level >= logrus.DebugLevel {
-		hostinfo.logger(f.l).
-			WithField("fwPacket", fwPacket).
-			WithField("reason", dropReason).
-			Debugln("dropping outbound packet")
+	} else {
+		f.rejectInside(packet, out, q)
+		if f.l.Level >= logrus.DebugLevel {
+			hostinfo.logger(f.l).
+				WithField("fwPacket", fwPacket).
+				WithField("reason", dropReason).
+				Debugln("dropping outbound packet")
+		}
 	}
 }
 
+func (f *Interface) rejectInside(packet []byte, out []byte, q int) {
+	if !f.firewall.InSendReject {
+		return
+	}
+
+	out = iputil.CreateRejectPacket(packet, out)
+	_, err := f.readers[q].Write(out)
+	if err != nil {
+		f.l.WithError(err).Error("Failed to write to tun")
+	}
+}
+
+func (f *Interface) rejectOutside(packet []byte, ci *ConnectionState, hostinfo *HostInfo, nb, out []byte, q int) {
+	if !f.firewall.OutSendReject {
+		return
+	}
+
+	// Use some out buffer space to build the packet before encryption
+	// Need 40 bytes for the reject packet (20 byte ipv4 header, 20 byte tcp rst packet)
+	// Leave 100 bytes for the encrypted packet (60 byte Nebula header, 40 byte reject packet)
+	out = out[:140]
+	outPacket := iputil.CreateRejectPacket(packet, out[100:])
+	f.sendNoMetrics(header.Message, 0, ci, hostinfo, nil, outPacket, nb, out, q, nil)
+}
+
 func (f *Interface) Handshake(vpnIp iputil.VpnIp) {
 	f.getOrHandshake(vpnIp)
 }
@@ -124,7 +153,13 @@ func (f *Interface) getOrHandshake(vpnIp iputil.VpnIp) *HostInfo {
 
 		// If this is a static host, we don't need to wait for the HostQueryReply
 		// We can trigger the handshake right now
-		if _, ok := f.lightHouse.GetStaticHostList()[vpnIp]; ok {
+		_, doTrigger := f.lightHouse.GetStaticHostList()[vpnIp]
+		if !doTrigger {
+			// Add any calculated remotes, and trigger early handshake if one found
+			doTrigger = f.lightHouse.addCalculatedRemotes(vpnIp)
+		}
+
+		if doTrigger {
 			select {
 			case f.handshakeManager.trigger <- vpnIp:
 			default:
@@ -356,14 +391,14 @@ func (f *Interface) sendNoMetrics(t header.MessageType, st header.MessageSubType
 		for _, relayIP := range hostinfo.relayState.CopyRelayIps() {
 			relayHostInfo, err := f.hostMap.QueryVpnIp(relayIP)
 			if err != nil {
-				hostinfo.logger(f.l).WithField("relayIp", relayIP).WithError(err).Info("sendNoMetrics failed to find HostInfo")
+				hostinfo.logger(f.l).WithField("relay", relayIP).WithError(err).Info("sendNoMetrics failed to find HostInfo")
 				continue
 			}
 			relay, ok := relayHostInfo.relayState.QueryRelayForByIp(hostinfo.vpnIp)
 			if !ok {
 				hostinfo.logger(f.l).
-					WithField("relayIp", relayHostInfo.vpnIp).
-					WithField("relayTarget", hostinfo.vpnIp).
+					WithField("relay", relayHostInfo.vpnIp).
+					WithField("relayTo", hostinfo.vpnIp).
 					Info("sendNoMetrics relay missing object for target")
 				continue
 			}
diff --git a/interface.go b/interface.go
index 7e74946..b7ade68 100644
--- a/interface.go
+++ b/interface.go
@@ -33,8 +33,8 @@ type InterfaceConfig struct {
 	ServeDns                bool
 	HandshakeManager        *HandshakeManager
 	lightHouse              *LightHouse
-	checkInterval           int
-	pendingDeletionInterval int
+	checkInterval           time.Duration
+	pendingDeletionInterval time.Duration
 	DropLocalBroadcast      bool
 	DropMulticast           bool
 	routines                int
@@ -43,6 +43,7 @@ type InterfaceConfig struct {
 	caPool                  *cert.NebulaCAPool
 	disconnectInvalid       bool
 	relayManager            *relayManager
+	punchy                  *Punchy
 
 	ConntrackCacheTimeout time.Duration
 	l                     *logrus.Logger
@@ -52,7 +53,7 @@ type Interface struct {
 	hostMap            *HostMap
 	outside            *udp.Conn
 	inside             overlay.Device
-	certState          *CertState
+	certState          atomic.Pointer[CertState]
 	cipher             string
 	firewall           *Firewall
 	connectionManager  *connectionManager
@@ -153,7 +154,6 @@ func NewInterface(ctx context.Context, c *InterfaceConfig) (*Interface, error) {
 		hostMap:            c.HostMap,
 		outside:            c.Outside,
 		inside:             c.Inside,
-		certState:          c.certState,
 		cipher:             c.Cipher,
 		firewall:           c.Firewall,
 		serveDns:           c.ServeDns,
@@ -184,7 +184,8 @@ func NewInterface(ctx context.Context, c *InterfaceConfig) (*Interface, error) {
 		l: c.l,
 	}
 
-	ifce.connectionManager = newConnectionManager(ctx, c.l, ifce, c.checkInterval, c.pendingDeletionInterval)
+	ifce.certState.Store(c.certState)
+	ifce.connectionManager = newConnectionManager(ctx, c.l, ifce, c.checkInterval, c.pendingDeletionInterval, c.punchy)
 
 	return ifce, nil
 }
@@ -312,14 +313,15 @@ func (f *Interface) reloadCertKey(c *config.C) {
 	}
 
 	// did IP in cert change? if so, don't set
-	oldIPs := f.certState.certificate.Details.Ips
+	currentCert := f.certState.Load().certificate
+	oldIPs := currentCert.Details.Ips
 	newIPs := cs.certificate.Details.Ips
 	if len(oldIPs) > 0 && len(newIPs) > 0 && oldIPs[0].String() != newIPs[0].String() {
 		f.l.WithField("new_ip", newIPs[0]).WithField("old_ip", oldIPs[0]).Error("IP in new cert was different from old")
 		return
 	}
 
-	f.certState = cs
+	f.certState.Store(cs)
 	f.l.WithField("cert", cs.certificate).Info("Client cert refreshed from disk")
 }
 
@@ -330,7 +332,7 @@ func (f *Interface) reloadFirewall(c *config.C) {
 		return
 	}
 
-	fw, err := NewFirewallFromConfig(f.l, f.certState.certificate, c)
+	fw, err := NewFirewallFromConfig(f.l, f.certState.Load().certificate, c)
 	if err != nil {
 		f.l.WithError(err).Error("Error while creating firewall during reload")
 		return
diff --git a/iputil/packet.go b/iputil/packet.go
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..74ae37f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/iputil/packet.go
@@ -0,0 +1,211 @@
+package iputil
+
+import (
+	"encoding/binary"
+
+	"golang.org/x/net/ipv4"
+)
+
+func CreateRejectPacket(packet []byte, out []byte) []byte {
+	// TODO ipv4 only, need to fix when inside supports ipv6
+	switch packet[9] {
+	case 6: // tcp
+		return ipv4CreateRejectTCPPacket(packet, out)
+	default:
+		return ipv4CreateRejectICMPPacket(packet, out)
+	}
+}
+
+func ipv4CreateRejectICMPPacket(packet []byte, out []byte) []byte {
+	ihl := int(packet[0]&0x0f) << 2
+
+	// ICMP reply includes header and first 8 bytes of the packet
+	packetLen := len(packet)
+	if packetLen > ihl+8 {
+		packetLen = ihl + 8
+	}
+
+	outLen := ipv4.HeaderLen + 8 + packetLen
+
+	out = out[:(outLen)]
+
+	ipHdr := out[0:ipv4.HeaderLen]
+	ipHdr[0] = ipv4.Version<<4 | (ipv4.HeaderLen >> 2)                        // version, ihl
+	ipHdr[1] = 0                                                              // DSCP, ECN
+	binary.BigEndian.PutUint16(ipHdr[2:], uint16(ipv4.HeaderLen+8+packetLen)) // Total Length
+
+	ipHdr[4] = 0  // id
+	ipHdr[5] = 0  //  .
+	ipHdr[6] = 0  // flags, fragment offset
+	ipHdr[7] = 0  //  .
+	ipHdr[8] = 64 // TTL
+	ipHdr[9] = 1  // protocol (icmp)
+	ipHdr[10] = 0 // checksum
+	ipHdr[11] = 0 //  .
+
+	// Swap dest / src IPs
+	copy(ipHdr[12:16], packet[16:20])
+	copy(ipHdr[16:20], packet[12:16])
+
+	// Calculate checksum
+	binary.BigEndian.PutUint16(ipHdr[10:], tcpipChecksum(ipHdr, 0))
+
+	// ICMP Destination Unreachable
+	icmpOut := out[ipv4.HeaderLen:]
+	icmpOut[0] = 3 // type (Destination unreachable)
+	icmpOut[1] = 3 // code (Port unreachable error)
+	icmpOut[2] = 0 // checksum
+	icmpOut[3] = 0 //  .
+	icmpOut[4] = 0 // unused
+	icmpOut[5] = 0 //  .
+	icmpOut[6] = 0 //  .
+	icmpOut[7] = 0 //  .
+
+	// Copy original IP header and first 8 bytes as body
+	copy(icmpOut[8:], packet[:packetLen])
+
+	// Calculate checksum
+	binary.BigEndian.PutUint16(icmpOut[2:], tcpipChecksum(icmpOut, 0))
+
+	return out
+}
+
+func ipv4CreateRejectTCPPacket(packet []byte, out []byte) []byte {
+	const tcpLen = 20
+
+	ihl := int(packet[0]&0x0f) << 2
+	outLen := ipv4.HeaderLen + tcpLen
+
+	out = out[:(outLen)]
+
+	ipHdr := out[0:ipv4.HeaderLen]
+	ipHdr[0] = ipv4.Version<<4 | (ipv4.HeaderLen >> 2)    // version, ihl
+	ipHdr[1] = 0                                          // DSCP, ECN
+	binary.BigEndian.PutUint16(ipHdr[2:], uint16(outLen)) // Total Length
+	ipHdr[4] = 0                                          // id
+	ipHdr[5] = 0                                          //  .
+	ipHdr[6] = 0                                          // flags, fragment offset
+	ipHdr[7] = 0                                          //  .
+	ipHdr[8] = 64                                         // TTL
+	ipHdr[9] = 6                                          // protocol (tcp)
+	ipHdr[10] = 0                                         // checksum
+	ipHdr[11] = 0                                         //  .
+
+	// Swap dest / src IPs
+	copy(ipHdr[12:16], packet[16:20])
+	copy(ipHdr[16:20], packet[12:16])
+
+	// Calculate checksum
+	binary.BigEndian.PutUint16(ipHdr[10:], tcpipChecksum(ipHdr, 0))
+
+	// TCP RST
+	tcpIn := packet[ihl:]
+	var ackSeq, seq uint32
+	outFlags := byte(0b00000100) // RST
+
+	// Set seq and ackSeq based on how iptables/netfilter does it in Linux:
+	// - https://github.com/torvalds/linux/blob/v5.19/net/ipv4/netfilter/nf_reject_ipv4.c#L193-L221
+	inAck := tcpIn[13]&0b00010000 != 0
+	if inAck {
+		seq = binary.BigEndian.Uint32(tcpIn[8:])
+	} else {
+		inSyn := uint32((tcpIn[13] & 0b00000010) >> 1)
+		inFin := uint32(tcpIn[13] & 0b00000001)
+		// seq from the packet + syn + fin + tcp segment length
+		ackSeq = binary.BigEndian.Uint32(tcpIn[4:]) + inSyn + inFin + uint32(len(tcpIn)) - uint32(tcpIn[12]>>4)<<2
+		outFlags |= 0b00010000 // ACK
+	}
+
+	tcpOut := out[ipv4.HeaderLen:]
+	// Swap dest / src ports
+	copy(tcpOut[0:2], tcpIn[2:4])
+	copy(tcpOut[2:4], tcpIn[0:2])
+	binary.BigEndian.PutUint32(tcpOut[4:], seq)
+	binary.BigEndian.PutUint32(tcpOut[8:], ackSeq)
+	tcpOut[12] = (tcpLen >> 2) << 4 // data offset,  reserved,  NS
+	tcpOut[13] = outFlags           // CWR, ECE, URG, ACK, PSH, RST, SYN, FIN
+	tcpOut[14] = 0                  // window size
+	tcpOut[15] = 0                  //  .
+	tcpOut[16] = 0                  // checksum
+	tcpOut[17] = 0                  //  .
+	tcpOut[18] = 0                  // URG Pointer
+	tcpOut[19] = 0                  //  .
+
+	// Calculate checksum
+	csum := ipv4PseudoheaderChecksum(ipHdr[12:16], ipHdr[16:20], 6, tcpLen)
+	binary.BigEndian.PutUint16(tcpOut[16:], tcpipChecksum(tcpOut, csum))
+
+	return out
+}
+
+func CreateICMPEchoResponse(packet, out []byte) []byte {
+	// Return early if this is not a simple ICMP Echo Request
+	//TODO: make constants out of these
+	if !(len(packet) >= 28 && len(packet) <= 9001 && packet[0] == 0x45 && packet[9] == 0x01 && packet[20] == 0x08) {
+		return nil
+	}
+
+	// We don't support fragmented packets
+	if packet[7] != 0 || (packet[6]&0x2F != 0) {
+		return nil
+	}
+
+	out = out[:len(packet)]
+
+	copy(out, packet)
+
+	// Swap dest / src IPs and recalculate checksum
+	ipv4 := out[0:20]
+	copy(ipv4[12:16], packet[16:20])
+	copy(ipv4[16:20], packet[12:16])
+	ipv4[10] = 0
+	ipv4[11] = 0
+	binary.BigEndian.PutUint16(ipv4[10:], tcpipChecksum(ipv4, 0))
+
+	// Change type to ICMP Echo Reply and recalculate checksum
+	icmp := out[20:]
+	icmp[0] = 0
+	icmp[2] = 0
+	icmp[3] = 0
+	binary.BigEndian.PutUint16(icmp[2:], tcpipChecksum(icmp, 0))
+
+	return out
+}
+
+// calculates the TCP/IP checksum defined in rfc1071. The passed-in
+// csum is any initial checksum data that's already been computed.
+//
+// based on:
+// - https://github.com/google/gopacket/blob/v1.1.19/layers/tcpip.go#L50-L70
+func tcpipChecksum(data []byte, csum uint32) uint16 {
+	// to handle odd lengths, we loop to length - 1, incrementing by 2, then
+	// handle the last byte specifically by checking against the original
+	// length.
+	length := len(data) - 1
+	for i := 0; i < length; i += 2 {
+		// For our test packet, doing this manually is about 25% faster
+		// (740 ns vs. 1000ns) than doing it by calling binary.BigEndian.Uint16.
+		csum += uint32(data[i]) << 8
+		csum += uint32(data[i+1])
+	}
+	if len(data)%2 == 1 {
+		csum += uint32(data[length]) << 8
+	}
+	for csum > 0xffff {
+		csum = (csum >> 16) + (csum & 0xffff)
+	}
+	return ^uint16(csum)
+}
+
+// based on:
+// - https://github.com/google/gopacket/blob/v1.1.19/layers/tcpip.go#L26-L35
+func ipv4PseudoheaderChecksum(src, dst []byte, proto, length uint32) (csum uint32) {
+	csum += (uint32(src[0]) + uint32(src[2])) << 8
+	csum += uint32(src[1]) + uint32(src[3])
+	csum += (uint32(dst[0]) + uint32(dst[2])) << 8
+	csum += uint32(dst[1]) + uint32(dst[3])
+	csum += proto
+	csum += length & 0xffff
+	csum += length >> 16
+	return csum
+}
diff --git a/lighthouse.go b/lighthouse.go
index 60e1f29..5b34a3e 100644
--- a/lighthouse.go
+++ b/lighthouse.go
@@ -12,6 +12,7 @@ import (
 
 	"github.com/rcrowley/go-metrics"
 	"github.com/sirupsen/logrus"
+	"github.com/slackhq/nebula/cidr"
 	"github.com/slackhq/nebula/config"
 	"github.com/slackhq/nebula/header"
 	"github.com/slackhq/nebula/iputil"
@@ -72,6 +73,8 @@ type LightHouse struct {
 	// IP's of relays that can be used by peers to access me
 	relaysForMe atomic.Pointer[[]iputil.VpnIp]
 
+	calculatedRemotes atomic.Pointer[cidr.Tree4] // Maps VpnIp to []*calculatedRemote
+
 	metrics           *MessageMetrics
 	metricHolepunchTx metrics.Counter
 	l                 *logrus.Logger
@@ -161,6 +164,10 @@ func (lh *LightHouse) GetRelaysForMe() []iputil.VpnIp {
 	return *lh.relaysForMe.Load()
 }
 
+func (lh *LightHouse) getCalculatedRemotes() *cidr.Tree4 {
+	return lh.calculatedRemotes.Load()
+}
+
 func (lh *LightHouse) GetUpdateInterval() int64 {
 	return lh.interval.Load()
 }
@@ -237,6 +244,19 @@ func (lh *LightHouse) reload(c *config.C, initial bool) error {
 		}
 	}
 
+	if initial || c.HasChanged("lighthouse.calculated_remotes") {
+		cr, err := NewCalculatedRemotesFromConfig(c, "lighthouse.calculated_remotes")
+		if err != nil {
+			return util.NewContextualError("Invalid lighthouse.calculated_remotes", nil, err)
+		}
+
+		lh.calculatedRemotes.Store(cr)
+		if !initial {
+			//TODO: a diff will be annoyingly difficult
+			lh.l.Info("lighthouse.calculated_remotes has changed")
+		}
+	}
+
 	//NOTE: many things will get much simpler when we combine static_host_map and lighthouse.hosts in config
 	if initial || c.HasChanged("static_host_map") {
 		staticList := make(map[iputil.VpnIp]struct{})
@@ -279,7 +299,7 @@ func (lh *LightHouse) reload(c *config.C, initial bool) error {
 		case false:
 			relaysForMe := []iputil.VpnIp{}
 			for _, v := range c.GetStringSlice("relay.relays", nil) {
-				lh.l.WithField("RelayIP", v).Info("Read relay from config")
+				lh.l.WithField("relay", v).Info("Read relay from config")
 
 				configRIP := net.ParseIP(v)
 				if configRIP != nil {
@@ -488,6 +508,39 @@ func (lh *LightHouse) addStaticRemote(vpnIp iputil.VpnIp, toAddr *udp.Addr, stat
 	staticList[vpnIp] = struct{}{}
 }
 
+// addCalculatedRemotes adds any calculated remotes based on the
+// lighthouse.calculated_remotes configuration. It returns true if any
+// calculated remotes were added
+func (lh *LightHouse) addCalculatedRemotes(vpnIp iputil.VpnIp) bool {
+	tree := lh.getCalculatedRemotes()
+	if tree == nil {
+		return false
+	}
+	value := tree.MostSpecificContains(vpnIp)
+	if value == nil {
+		return false
+	}
+	calculatedRemotes := value.([]*calculatedRemote)
+
+	var calculated []*Ip4AndPort
+	for _, cr := range calculatedRemotes {
+		c := cr.Apply(vpnIp)
+		if c != nil {
+			calculated = append(calculated, c)
+		}
+	}
+
+	lh.Lock()
+	am := lh.unlockedGetRemoteList(vpnIp)
+	am.Lock()
+	defer am.Unlock()
+	lh.Unlock()
+
+	am.unlockedSetV4(lh.myVpnIp, vpnIp, calculated, lh.unlockedShouldAddV4)
+
+	return len(calculated) > 0
+}
+
 // unlockedGetRemoteList assumes you have the lh lock
 func (lh *LightHouse) unlockedGetRemoteList(vpnIp iputil.VpnIp) *RemoteList {
 	am, ok := lh.addrMap[vpnIp]
@@ -912,7 +965,7 @@ func (lhh *LightHouseHandler) handleHostPunchNotification(n *NebulaMeta, vpnIp i
 	if lhh.lh.punchy.GetRespond() {
 		queryVpnIp := iputil.VpnIp(n.Details.VpnIp)
 		go func() {
-			time.Sleep(time.Second * 5)
+			time.Sleep(lhh.lh.punchy.GetRespondDelay())
 			if lhh.l.Level >= logrus.DebugLevel {
 				lhh.l.Debugf("Sending a nebula test packet to vpn ip %s", queryVpnIp)
 			}
diff --git a/main.go b/main.go
index 0f13529..f8a1fe0 100644
--- a/main.go
+++ b/main.go
@@ -213,11 +213,6 @@ func Main(c *config.C, configTest bool, buildVersion string, logger *logrus.Logg
 	*/
 
 	punchy := NewPunchyFromConfig(l, c)
-	if punchy.GetPunch() && !configTest {
-		l.Info("UDP hole punching enabled")
-		go hostMap.Punchy(ctx, udpConns[0])
-	}
-
 	lightHouse, err := NewLightHouseFromConfig(l, c, tunCidr, udpConns[0], punchy)
 	switch {
 	case errors.As(err, &util.ContextualError{}):
@@ -272,8 +267,8 @@ func Main(c *config.C, configTest bool, buildVersion string, logger *logrus.Logg
 		ServeDns:                serveDns,
 		HandshakeManager:        handshakeManager,
 		lightHouse:              lightHouse,
-		checkInterval:           checkInterval,
-		pendingDeletionInterval: pendingDeletionInterval,
+		checkInterval:           time.Second * time.Duration(checkInterval),
+		pendingDeletionInterval: time.Second * time.Duration(pendingDeletionInterval),
 		DropLocalBroadcast:      c.GetBool("tun.drop_local_broadcast", false),
 		DropMulticast:           c.GetBool("tun.drop_multicast", false),
 		routines:                routines,
@@ -282,6 +277,7 @@ func Main(c *config.C, configTest bool, buildVersion string, logger *logrus.Logg
 		caPool:                  caPool,
 		disconnectInvalid:       c.GetBool("pki.disconnect_invalid", false),
 		relayManager:            NewRelayManager(ctx, l, hostMap, c),
+		punchy:                  punchy,
 
 		ConntrackCacheTimeout: conntrackCacheTimeout,
 		l:                     l,
diff --git a/outside.go b/outside.go
index 62ec2d3..b1e43a8 100644
--- a/outside.go
+++ b/outside.go
@@ -89,12 +89,8 @@ func (f *Interface) readOutsidePackets(addr *udp.Addr, via interface{}, out []by
 			relay, ok := hostinfo.relayState.QueryRelayForByIdx(h.RemoteIndex)
 			if !ok {
 				// The only way this happens is if hostmap has an index to the correct HostInfo, but the HostInfo is missing
-				// its internal mapping. This shouldn't happen!
-				hostinfo.logger(f.l).WithField("hostinfo", hostinfo.vpnIp).WithField("remoteIndex", h.RemoteIndex).Errorf("HostInfo missing remote index")
-				// Delete my local index from the hostmap
-				f.hostMap.DeleteRelayIdx(h.RemoteIndex)
-				// When the peer doesn't receive any return traffic, its connection_manager will eventually clean up
-				// the broken relay when it cleans up the associated HostInfo object.
+				// its internal mapping. This should never happen.
+				hostinfo.logger(f.l).WithFields(logrus.Fields{"vpnIp": hostinfo.vpnIp, "remoteIndex": h.RemoteIndex}).Error("HostInfo missing remote relay index")
 				return
 			}
 
@@ -108,13 +104,13 @@ func (f *Interface) readOutsidePackets(addr *udp.Addr, via interface{}, out []by
 				// Find the target HostInfo relay object
 				targetHI, err := f.hostMap.QueryVpnIp(relay.PeerIp)
 				if err != nil {
-					hostinfo.logger(f.l).WithField("peerIp", relay.PeerIp).WithError(err).Info("Failed to find target host info by ip")
+					hostinfo.logger(f.l).WithField("relayTo", relay.PeerIp).WithError(err).Info("Failed to find target host info by ip")
 					return
 				}
 				// find the target Relay info object
 				targetRelay, ok := targetHI.relayState.QueryRelayForByIp(hostinfo.vpnIp)
 				if !ok {
-					hostinfo.logger(f.l).WithField("peerIp", relay.PeerIp).Info("Failed to find relay in hostinfo")
+					hostinfo.logger(f.l).WithFields(logrus.Fields{"relayTo": relay.PeerIp, "relayFrom": hostinfo.vpnIp}).Info("Failed to find relay in hostinfo")
 					return
 				}
 
@@ -130,7 +126,7 @@ func (f *Interface) readOutsidePackets(addr *udp.Addr, via interface{}, out []by
 						hostinfo.logger(f.l).Error("Unexpected Relay Type of Terminal")
 					}
 				} else {
-					hostinfo.logger(f.l).WithField("targetRelayState", targetRelay.State).Info("Unexpected target relay state")
+					hostinfo.logger(f.l).WithFields(logrus.Fields{"relayTo": relay.PeerIp, "relayFrom": hostinfo.vpnIp, "targetRelayState": targetRelay.State}).Info("Unexpected target relay state")
 					return
 				}
 			}
@@ -242,9 +238,6 @@ func (f *Interface) readOutsidePackets(addr *udp.Addr, via interface{}, out []by
 
 // closeTunnel closes a tunnel locally, it does not send a closeTunnel packet to the remote
 func (f *Interface) closeTunnel(hostInfo *HostInfo) {
-	//TODO: this would be better as a single function in ConnectionManager that handled locks appropriately
-	f.connectionManager.ClearLocalIndex(hostInfo.localIndexId)
-	f.connectionManager.ClearPendingDeletion(hostInfo.localIndexId)
 	final := f.hostMap.DeleteHostInfo(hostInfo)
 	if final {
 		// We no longer have any tunnels with this vpn ip, clear learned lighthouse state to lower memory usage
@@ -412,6 +405,7 @@ func (f *Interface) decryptToTun(hostinfo *HostInfo, messageCounter uint64, out
 
 	dropReason := f.firewall.Drop(out, *fwPacket, true, hostinfo, f.caPool, localCache)
 	if dropReason != nil {
+		f.rejectOutside(out, hostinfo.ConnectionState, hostinfo, nb, out, q)
 		if f.l.Level >= logrus.DebugLevel {
 			hostinfo.logger(f.l).WithField("fwPacket", fwPacket).
 				WithField("reason", dropReason).
diff --git a/overlay/tun_disabled.go b/overlay/tun_disabled.go
index b7f7273..e1e4ede 100644
--- a/overlay/tun_disabled.go
+++ b/overlay/tun_disabled.go
@@ -1,7 +1,6 @@
 package overlay
 
 import (
-	"encoding/binary"
 	"fmt"
 	"io"
 	"net"
@@ -75,38 +74,15 @@ func (t *disabledTun) Read(b []byte) (int, error) {
 }
 
 func (t *disabledTun) handleICMPEchoRequest(b []byte) bool {
-	// Return early if this is not a simple ICMP Echo Request
-	//TODO: make constants out of these
-	if !(len(b) >= 28 && len(b) <= 9001 && b[0] == 0x45 && b[9] == 0x01 && b[20] == 0x08) {
+	out := make([]byte, len(b))
+	out = iputil.CreateICMPEchoResponse(b, out)
+	if out == nil {
 		return false
 	}
 
-	// We don't support fragmented packets
-	if b[7] != 0 || (b[6]&0x2F != 0) {
-		return false
-	}
-
-	buf := make([]byte, len(b))
-	copy(buf, b)
-
-	// Swap dest / src IPs and recalculate checksum
-	ipv4 := buf[0:20]
-	copy(ipv4[12:16], b[16:20])
-	copy(ipv4[16:20], b[12:16])
-	ipv4[10] = 0
-	ipv4[11] = 0
-	binary.BigEndian.PutUint16(ipv4[10:], ipChecksum(ipv4))
-
-	// Change type to ICMP Echo Reply and recalculate checksum
-	icmp := buf[20:]
-	icmp[0] = 0
-	icmp[2] = 0
-	icmp[3] = 0
-	binary.BigEndian.PutUint16(icmp[2:], ipChecksum(icmp))
-
 	// attempt to write it, but don't block
 	select {
-	case t.read <- buf:
+	case t.read <- out:
 	default:
 		t.l.Debugf("tun_disabled: dropped ICMP Echo Reply response")
 	}
@@ -154,22 +130,3 @@ func (p prettyPacket) String() string {
 
 	return s.String()
 }
-
-func ipChecksum(b []byte) uint16 {
-	var c uint32
-	sz := len(b) - 1
-
-	for i := 0; i < sz; i += 2 {
-		c += uint32(b[i]) << 8
-		c += uint32(b[i+1])
-	}
-	if sz%2 == 0 {
-		c += uint32(b[sz]) << 8
-	}
-
-	for (c >> 16) > 0 {
-		c = (c & 0xffff) + (c >> 16)
-	}
-
-	return ^uint16(c)
-}
diff --git a/overlay/tun_tester.go b/overlay/tun_tester.go
index 442a9b5..38c11a6 100644
--- a/overlay/tun_tester.go
+++ b/overlay/tun_tester.go
@@ -50,7 +50,7 @@ func newTunFromFd(_ *logrus.Logger, _ int, _ *net.IPNet, _ int, _ []Route, _ int
 // These are unencrypted ip layer frames destined for another nebula node.
 // packets should exit the udp side, capture them with udpConn.Get
 func (t *TestTun) Send(packet []byte) {
-	if t.l.Level >= logrus.InfoLevel {
+	if t.l.Level >= logrus.DebugLevel {
 		t.l.WithField("dataLen", len(packet)).Debug("Tun receiving injected packet")
 	}
 	t.rxPackets <- packet
diff --git a/punchy.go b/punchy.go
index 1ecf7c5..c0bdbd3 100644
--- a/punchy.go
+++ b/punchy.go
@@ -9,10 +9,12 @@ import (
 )
 
 type Punchy struct {
-	punch   atomic.Bool
-	respond atomic.Bool
-	delay   atomic.Int64
-	l       *logrus.Logger
+	punch           atomic.Bool
+	respond         atomic.Bool
+	delay           atomic.Int64
+	respondDelay    atomic.Int64
+	punchEverything atomic.Bool
+	l               *logrus.Logger
 }
 
 func NewPunchyFromConfig(l *logrus.Logger, c *config.C) *Punchy {
@@ -37,6 +39,12 @@ func (p *Punchy) reload(c *config.C, initial bool) {
 		}
 
 		p.punch.Store(yes)
+		if yes {
+			p.l.Info("punchy enabled")
+		} else {
+			p.l.Info("punchy disabled")
+		}
+
 	} else if c.HasChanged("punchy.punch") || c.HasChanged("punchy") {
 		//TODO: it should be relatively easy to support this, just need to be able to cancel the goroutine and boot it up from here
 		p.l.Warn("Changing punchy.punch with reload is not supported, ignoring.")
@@ -65,6 +73,20 @@ func (p *Punchy) reload(c *config.C, initial bool) {
 			p.l.Infof("punchy.delay changed to %s", p.GetDelay())
 		}
 	}
+
+	if initial || c.HasChanged("punchy.target_all_remotes") {
+		p.punchEverything.Store(c.GetBool("punchy.target_all_remotes", true))
+		if !initial {
+			p.l.WithField("target_all_remotes", p.GetTargetEverything()).Info("punchy.target_all_remotes changed")
+		}
+	}
+
+	if initial || c.HasChanged("punchy.respond_delay") {
+		p.respondDelay.Store((int64)(c.GetDuration("punchy.respond_delay", 5*time.Second)))
+		if !initial {
+			p.l.Infof("punchy.respond_delay changed to %s", p.GetRespondDelay())
+		}
+	}
 }
 
 func (p *Punchy) GetPunch() bool {
@@ -78,3 +100,11 @@ func (p *Punchy) GetRespond() bool {
 func (p *Punchy) GetDelay() time.Duration {
 	return (time.Duration)(p.delay.Load())
 }
+
+func (p *Punchy) GetRespondDelay() time.Duration {
+	return (time.Duration)(p.respondDelay.Load())
+}
+
+func (p *Punchy) GetTargetEverything() bool {
+	return p.punchEverything.Load()
+}
diff --git a/punchy_test.go b/punchy_test.go
index 0aa9b62..bedd2b2 100644
--- a/punchy_test.go
+++ b/punchy_test.go
@@ -18,6 +18,7 @@ func TestNewPunchyFromConfig(t *testing.T) {
 	assert.Equal(t, false, p.GetPunch())
 	assert.Equal(t, false, p.GetRespond())
 	assert.Equal(t, time.Second, p.GetDelay())
+	assert.Equal(t, 5*time.Second, p.GetRespondDelay())
 
 	// punchy deprecation
 	c.Settings["punchy"] = true
@@ -44,6 +45,11 @@ func TestNewPunchyFromConfig(t *testing.T) {
 	c.Settings["punchy"] = map[interface{}]interface{}{"delay": "1m"}
 	p = NewPunchyFromConfig(l, c)
 	assert.Equal(t, time.Minute, p.GetDelay())
+
+	// punchy.respond_delay
+	c.Settings["punchy"] = map[interface{}]interface{}{"respond_delay": "1m"}
+	p = NewPunchyFromConfig(l, c)
+	assert.Equal(t, time.Minute, p.GetRespondDelay())
 }
 
 func TestPunchy_reload(t *testing.T) {
diff --git a/relay_manager.go b/relay_manager.go
index 080d144..bf75708 100644
--- a/relay_manager.go
+++ b/relay_manager.go
@@ -88,17 +88,14 @@ func AddRelay(l *logrus.Logger, relayHostInfo *HostInfo, hm *HostMap, vpnIp iput
 
 // EstablishRelay updates a Requested Relay to become an Established Relay, which can pass traffic.
 func (rm *relayManager) EstablishRelay(relayHostInfo *HostInfo, m *NebulaControl) (*Relay, error) {
-	relay, ok := relayHostInfo.relayState.QueryRelayForByIdx(m.InitiatorRelayIndex)
+	relay, ok := relayHostInfo.relayState.CompleteRelayByIdx(m.InitiatorRelayIndex, m.ResponderRelayIndex)
 	if !ok {
-		rm.l.WithFields(logrus.Fields{"relayHostInfo": relayHostInfo.vpnIp,
+		rm.l.WithFields(logrus.Fields{"relay": relayHostInfo.vpnIp,
 			"initiatorRelayIndex": m.InitiatorRelayIndex,
 			"relayFrom":           m.RelayFromIp,
-			"relayTo":             m.RelayToIp}).Info("relayManager EstablishRelay relayForByIdx not found")
+			"relayTo":             m.RelayToIp}).Info("relayManager failed to update relay")
 		return nil, fmt.Errorf("unknown relay")
 	}
-	// relay deserves some synchronization
-	relay.RemoteIndex = m.ResponderRelayIndex
-	relay.State = Established
 
 	return relay, nil
 }
@@ -116,17 +113,17 @@ func (rm *relayManager) HandleControlMsg(h *HostInfo, m *NebulaControl, f *Inter
 
 func (rm *relayManager) handleCreateRelayResponse(h *HostInfo, f *Interface, m *NebulaControl) {
 	rm.l.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
-		"relayFrom":    iputil.VpnIp(m.RelayFromIp),
-		"relayTarget":  iputil.VpnIp(m.RelayToIp),
-		"initiatorIdx": m.InitiatorRelayIndex,
-		"responderIdx": m.ResponderRelayIndex,
-		"hostInfo":     h.vpnIp}).
+		"relayFrom":           iputil.VpnIp(m.RelayFromIp),
+		"relayTo":             iputil.VpnIp(m.RelayToIp),
+		"initiatorRelayIndex": m.InitiatorRelayIndex,
+		"responderRelayIndex": m.ResponderRelayIndex,
+		"vpnIp":               h.vpnIp}).
 		Info("handleCreateRelayResponse")
 	target := iputil.VpnIp(m.RelayToIp)
 
 	relay, err := rm.EstablishRelay(h, m)
 	if err != nil {
-		rm.l.WithError(err).WithField("target", target.String()).Error("Failed to update relay for target")
+		rm.l.WithError(err).Error("Failed to update relay for relayTo")
 		return
 	}
 	// Do I need to complete the relays now?
@@ -136,12 +133,12 @@ func (rm *relayManager) handleCreateRelayResponse(h *HostInfo, f *Interface, m *
 	// I'm the middle man. Let the initiator know that the I've established the relay they requested.
 	peerHostInfo, err := rm.hostmap.QueryVpnIp(relay.PeerIp)
 	if err != nil {
-		rm.l.WithError(err).WithField("relayPeerIp", relay.PeerIp).Error("Can't find a HostInfo for peer IP")
+		rm.l.WithError(err).WithField("relayTo", relay.PeerIp).Error("Can't find a HostInfo for peer")
 		return
 	}
 	peerRelay, ok := peerHostInfo.relayState.QueryRelayForByIp(target)
 	if !ok {
-		rm.l.WithField("peerIp", peerHostInfo.vpnIp).WithField("target", target.String()).Error("peerRelay does not have Relay state for target IP", peerHostInfo.vpnIp.String(), target.String())
+		rm.l.WithField("relayTo", peerHostInfo.vpnIp).Error("peerRelay does not have Relay state for relayTo")
 		return
 	}
 	peerRelay.State = Established
@@ -155,44 +152,63 @@ func (rm *relayManager) handleCreateRelayResponse(h *HostInfo, f *Interface, m *
 	msg, err := resp.Marshal()
 	if err != nil {
 		rm.l.
-			WithError(err).Error("relayManager Failed to marhsal Control CreateRelayResponse message to create relay")
+			WithError(err).Error("relayManager Failed to marshal Control CreateRelayResponse message to create relay")
 	} else {
 		f.SendMessageToVpnIp(header.Control, 0, peerHostInfo.vpnIp, msg, make([]byte, 12), make([]byte, mtu))
+		rm.l.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
+			"relayFrom":           iputil.VpnIp(resp.RelayFromIp),
+			"relayTo":             iputil.VpnIp(resp.RelayToIp),
+			"initiatorRelayIndex": resp.InitiatorRelayIndex,
+			"responderRelayIndex": resp.ResponderRelayIndex,
+			"vpnIp":               peerHostInfo.vpnIp}).
+			Info("send CreateRelayResponse")
 	}
 }
 
 func (rm *relayManager) handleCreateRelayRequest(h *HostInfo, f *Interface, m *NebulaControl) {
-	rm.l.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
-		"relayFrom":    iputil.VpnIp(m.RelayFromIp),
-		"relayTarget":  iputil.VpnIp(m.RelayToIp),
-		"initiatorIdx": m.InitiatorRelayIndex,
-		"hostInfo":     h.vpnIp}).
-		Info("handleCreateRelayRequest")
+
 	from := iputil.VpnIp(m.RelayFromIp)
 	target := iputil.VpnIp(m.RelayToIp)
+
+	logMsg := rm.l.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
+		"relayFrom":           from,
+		"relayTo":             target,
+		"initiatorRelayIndex": m.InitiatorRelayIndex,
+		"vpnIp":               h.vpnIp})
+
+	logMsg.Info("handleCreateRelayRequest")
 	// Is the target of the relay me?
 	if target == f.myVpnIp {
 		existingRelay, ok := h.relayState.QueryRelayForByIp(from)
-		addRelay := !ok
 		if ok {
-			// Clean up existing relay, if this is a new request.
-			if existingRelay.RemoteIndex != m.InitiatorRelayIndex {
-				// We got a brand new Relay request, because its index is different than what we saw before.
-				// Clean up the existing Relay state, and get ready to record new Relay state.
-				rm.hostmap.RemoveRelay(existingRelay.LocalIndex)
-				addRelay = true
+			switch existingRelay.State {
+			case Requested:
+				ok = h.relayState.CompleteRelayByIP(from, m.InitiatorRelayIndex)
+				if !ok {
+					logMsg.Error("Relay State not found")
+					return
+				}
+			case Established:
+				if existingRelay.RemoteIndex != m.InitiatorRelayIndex {
+					// We got a brand new Relay request, because its index is different than what we saw before.
+					// This should never happen. The peer should never change an index, once created.
+					logMsg.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
+						"existingRemoteIndex": existingRelay.RemoteIndex}).Error("Existing relay mismatch with CreateRelayRequest")
+					return
+				}
 			}
-		}
-		if addRelay {
+		} else {
 			_, err := AddRelay(rm.l, h, f.hostMap, from, &m.InitiatorRelayIndex, TerminalType, Established)
 			if err != nil {
+				logMsg.WithError(err).Error("Failed to add relay")
 				return
 			}
 		}
 
 		relay, ok := h.relayState.QueryRelayForByIp(from)
-		if ok && m.InitiatorRelayIndex != relay.RemoteIndex {
-			// Do something, Something happened.
+		if !ok {
+			logMsg.Error("Relay State not found")
+			return
 		}
 
 		resp := NebulaControl{
@@ -204,15 +220,22 @@ func (rm *relayManager) handleCreateRelayRequest(h *HostInfo, f *Interface, m *N
 		}
 		msg, err := resp.Marshal()
 		if err != nil {
-			rm.l.
+			logMsg.
 				WithError(err).Error("relayManager Failed to marshal Control CreateRelayResponse message to create relay")
 		} else {
 			f.SendMessageToVpnIp(header.Control, 0, h.vpnIp, msg, make([]byte, 12), make([]byte, mtu))
+			rm.l.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
+				"relayFrom":           iputil.VpnIp(resp.RelayFromIp),
+				"relayTo":             iputil.VpnIp(resp.RelayToIp),
+				"initiatorRelayIndex": resp.InitiatorRelayIndex,
+				"responderRelayIndex": resp.ResponderRelayIndex,
+				"vpnIp":               h.vpnIp}).
+				Info("send CreateRelayResponse")
 		}
 		return
 	} else {
 		// the target is not me. Create a relay to the target, from me.
-		if rm.GetAmRelay() == false {
+		if !rm.GetAmRelay() {
 			return
 		}
 		peer, err := rm.hostmap.QueryVpnIp(target)
@@ -252,10 +275,17 @@ func (rm *relayManager) handleCreateRelayRequest(h *HostInfo, f *Interface, m *N
 			}
 			msg, err := req.Marshal()
 			if err != nil {
-				rm.l.
+				logMsg.
 					WithError(err).Error("relayManager Failed to marshal Control message to create relay")
 			} else {
 				f.SendMessageToVpnIp(header.Control, 0, target, msg, make([]byte, 12), make([]byte, mtu))
+				rm.l.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
+					"relayFrom":           iputil.VpnIp(req.RelayFromIp),
+					"relayTo":             iputil.VpnIp(req.RelayToIp),
+					"initiatorRelayIndex": req.InitiatorRelayIndex,
+					"responderRelayIndex": req.ResponderRelayIndex,
+					"vpnIp":               target}).
+					Info("send CreateRelayRequest")
 			}
 		}
 		// Also track the half-created Relay state just received
@@ -268,24 +298,20 @@ func (rm *relayManager) handleCreateRelayRequest(h *HostInfo, f *Interface, m *N
 			}
 			_, err := AddRelay(rm.l, h, f.hostMap, target, &m.InitiatorRelayIndex, ForwardingType, state)
 			if err != nil {
-				rm.l.
+				logMsg.
 					WithError(err).Error("relayManager Failed to allocate a local index for relay")
 				return
 			}
 		} else {
-			if relay.RemoteIndex != m.InitiatorRelayIndex {
-				// This is a stale Relay entry for the same tunnel targets.
-				// Clean up the existing stuff.
-				rm.RemoveRelay(relay.LocalIndex)
-				// Add the new relay
-				_, err := AddRelay(rm.l, h, f.hostMap, target, &m.InitiatorRelayIndex, ForwardingType, Requested)
-				if err != nil {
-					return
-				}
-				relay, _ = h.relayState.QueryRelayForByIp(target)
-			}
 			switch relay.State {
 			case Established:
+				if relay.RemoteIndex != m.InitiatorRelayIndex {
+					// We got a brand new Relay request, because its index is different than what we saw before.
+					// This should never happen. The peer should never change an index, once created.
+					logMsg.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
+						"existingRemoteIndex": relay.RemoteIndex}).Error("Existing relay mismatch with CreateRelayRequest")
+					return
+				}
 				resp := NebulaControl{
 					Type:                NebulaControl_CreateRelayResponse,
 					ResponderRelayIndex: relay.LocalIndex,
@@ -299,6 +325,13 @@ func (rm *relayManager) handleCreateRelayRequest(h *HostInfo, f *Interface, m *N
 						WithError(err).Error("relayManager Failed to marshal Control CreateRelayResponse message to create relay")
 				} else {
 					f.SendMessageToVpnIp(header.Control, 0, h.vpnIp, msg, make([]byte, 12), make([]byte, mtu))
+					rm.l.WithFields(logrus.Fields{
+						"relayFrom":           iputil.VpnIp(resp.RelayFromIp),
+						"relayTo":             iputil.VpnIp(resp.RelayToIp),
+						"initiatorRelayIndex": resp.InitiatorRelayIndex,
+						"responderRelayIndex": resp.ResponderRelayIndex,
+						"vpnIp":               h.vpnIp}).
+						Info("send CreateRelayResponse")
 				}
 
 			case Requested:
diff --git a/ssh.go b/ssh.go
index 7b9e28a..6223314 100644
--- a/ssh.go
+++ b/ssh.go
@@ -9,8 +9,10 @@ import (
 	"net"
 	"os"
 	"reflect"
+	"runtime"
 	"runtime/pprof"
 	"sort"
+	"strconv"
 	"strings"
 
 	"github.com/sirupsen/logrus"
@@ -243,6 +245,18 @@ func attachCommands(l *logrus.Logger, c *config.C, ssh *sshd.SSHServer, hostMap
 		Callback:         sshGetHeapProfile,
 	})
 
+	ssh.RegisterCommand(&sshd.Command{
+		Name:             "mutex-profile-fraction",
+		ShortDescription: "Gets or sets runtime.SetMutexProfileFraction",
+		Callback:         sshMutexProfileFraction,
+	})
+
+	ssh.RegisterCommand(&sshd.Command{
+		Name:             "save-mutex-profile",
+		ShortDescription: "Saves a mutex profile to the provided path",
+		Callback:         sshGetMutexProfile,
+	})
+
 	ssh.RegisterCommand(&sshd.Command{
 		Name:             "log-level",
 		ShortDescription: "Gets or sets the current log level",
@@ -661,6 +675,45 @@ func sshGetHeapProfile(fs interface{}, a []string, w sshd.StringWriter) error {
 	return err
 }
 
+func sshMutexProfileFraction(fs interface{}, a []string, w sshd.StringWriter) error {
+	if len(a) == 0 {
+		rate := runtime.SetMutexProfileFraction(-1)
+		return w.WriteLine(fmt.Sprintf("Current value: %d", rate))
+	}
+
+	newRate, err := strconv.Atoi(a[0])
+	if err != nil {
+		return w.WriteLine(fmt.Sprintf("Invalid argument: %s", a[0]))
+	}
+
+	oldRate := runtime.SetMutexProfileFraction(newRate)
+	return w.WriteLine(fmt.Sprintf("New value: %d. Old value: %d", newRate, oldRate))
+}
+
+func sshGetMutexProfile(fs interface{}, a []string, w sshd.StringWriter) error {
+	if len(a) == 0 {
+		return w.WriteLine("No path to write profile provided")
+	}
+
+	file, err := os.Create(a[0])
+	if err != nil {
+		return w.WriteLine(fmt.Sprintf("Unable to create profile file: %s", err))
+	}
+	defer file.Close()
+
+	mutexProfile := pprof.Lookup("mutex")
+	if mutexProfile == nil {
+		return w.WriteLine("Unable to get pprof.Lookup(\"mutex\")")
+	}
+
+	err = mutexProfile.WriteTo(file, 0)
+	if err != nil {
+		return w.WriteLine(fmt.Sprintf("Unable to write profile: %s", err))
+	}
+
+	return w.WriteLine(fmt.Sprintf("Mutex profile created at %s", a))
+}
+
 func sshLogLevel(l *logrus.Logger, fs interface{}, a []string, w sshd.StringWriter) error {
 	if len(a) == 0 {
 		return w.WriteLine(fmt.Sprintf("Log level is: %s", l.Level))
@@ -700,7 +753,7 @@ func sshPrintCert(ifce *Interface, fs interface{}, a []string, w sshd.StringWrit
 		return nil
 	}
 
-	cert := ifce.certState.certificate
+	cert := ifce.certState.Load().certificate
 	if len(a) > 0 {
 		parsedIp := net.ParseIP(a[0])
 		if parsedIp == nil {
diff --git a/udp/udp_all.go b/udp/udp_all.go
index a4a462e..093bf69 100644
--- a/udp/udp_all.go
+++ b/udp/udp_all.go
@@ -64,6 +64,22 @@ func (ua *Addr) Copy() *Addr {
 	return &nu
 }
 
+type AddrSlice []*Addr
+
+func (a AddrSlice) Equal(b AddrSlice) bool {
+	if len(a) != len(b) {
+		return false
+	}
+
+	for i := range a {
+		if !a[i].Equals(b[i]) {
+			return false
+		}
+	}
+
+	return true
+}
+
 func ParseIPAndPort(s string) (net.IP, uint16, error) {
 	rIp, sPort, err := net.SplitHostPort(s)
 	if err != nil {
diff --git a/udp/udp_tester.go b/udp/udp_tester.go
index b3e2498..62e4f56 100644
--- a/udp/udp_tester.go
+++ b/udp/udp_tester.go
@@ -62,7 +62,7 @@ func (u *Conn) Send(packet *Packet) {
 	if err := h.Parse(packet.Data); err != nil {
 		panic(err)
 	}
-	if u.l.Level >= logrus.InfoLevel {
+	if u.l.Level >= logrus.DebugLevel {
 		u.l.WithField("header", h).
 			WithField("udpAddr", fmt.Sprintf("%v:%v", packet.FromIp, packet.FromPort)).
 			WithField("dataLen", len(packet.Data)).